Question:
Wow, I almost didn’t read this. I’m glad I didn’t write you off. I’m pleasantly surprised at the respectful tone of this post, and I thank you. I fully expected this to be a flame. Don’t really have anything else to say, just thank you.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’ve been avoiding sharing that I’m Wiccan in this NG because chances are most people on this group are Christian (Just based on the demographics of the US and noticing most posters are from the US.), and I didn’t want grief about it here, when I need support here. If you’re interested to know more about what Wicca is, just let me know and I can explain. Just please don’t flame me. I know people who are wiccan and have other spiritual beliefs or paths as well. So I kind of undertsand your spiritual background. I am christian and at the same time have experiences that< I feel, have deepened my spirtuality such as psychcic readings that changed me from a non believer who believes only in modern science etc to a believer. I also do readings now, though not so much lately. I also am a level one reiki healer. It amazed me how well energy healing does work. So you wont get any flames or rebuffs from me, at least about being wiccan anyway. 
) My brother is bipolar so I know how difficult and painful that illness can be. A very good group is Recovery Inc., (mental health self help). It is also good with anxiety and other symptoms.
Response:
I’ve been avoiding sharing that I’m Wiccan in this NG because chances are most people on this group are Christian
It’s more that most people don’t understand wicca and associate it with black magic, evil spells and such….They don’t understand that wiccans believe whatever you do comes back to you 3X so any bad stuff gets you 3 times! I’m not wiccan but I got very intrigued by it and I do share a lot of the beliefs about energy and nature.
Response:
Michelle, I am just trying to get a handle on all of this, ok?
No problem…It’s complicated. I’ll clarify what I can. Your husband has: " ADHD, has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (sex related), Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Severe Panic Disorder. Not altogether stable either, because everything other than the ADHD has been diagnosed within the last 18 mos, and he’s still having major adjustment problems. Plus he refused to take his ADHD medication. Says it interferes with his creativity at work." Yes. Your six year old has ADHD. You think your four year old is withdrawn and you are looking for signs of depression.
Yes. Not really _looking_ for it, but aware that it’s a possibility. I’d much rather he not have it. And a quiet stoic personality is also something that is typical for my family. I’m hoping that’s all it is. You are bipolar, are a Christian witch, but have conflicts with your friends who cannot assimilate Christianity with Wiccan.
Not really. The conflict is with Christians who can’t assimilate the Wicca. I’ve found some puzzlement from my Wiccan friends, but still accepeted. I am assuming then, that the friend who dumped your weekend was a male witch who couldn’t cope with your Christian side. Yes?
No. Yes, he’s a male Wiccan, but he had no problem with me being Christian. In fact he just emailed me yesterday and explained what all had happened. He apologized for dropping off the face of the earth and explained how crazy his life had gotten. It happens. I am only rehashing because you have posted all of this in different places, and I am trying to understand. So, don’t take offense to this, ok? But, do you think you are in a somewhat of a manic phase now?
No, actually in quite the depressive swing. I’m curious. What made you ask? Peace, phenix btw, it’s Melissa if you prefer names.
Response:
I’ve been avoiding sharing that I’m Wiccan in this NG because chances are most people on this group are Christian (Just based on the demographics of the US and noticing most posters are from the US.), and I didn’t want grief about it here, when I need support here. If you’re interested to know more about what Wicca is, just let me know and I can explain. Just please don’t flame me.
I know people who are wiccan and have other spiritual beliefs or paths as well. So I kind of undertsand your spiritual background. I am christian and at the same time have experiences that< I feel, have deepened my spirtuality such as psychcic readings that changed me from a non believer who believes only in modern science etc to a believer. I also do readings now, though not so much lately. I also am a level one reiki healer. It amazed me how well energy healing does work. So you wont get any flames or rebuffs from me, at least about being wiccan anyway. ) My brother is bipolar so I know how difficult and painful that illness can be. A very good group is Recovery Inc., (mental health self help). It is also good with anxiety and other symptoms.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yeah, not a big problem there. I’m comfortable with me and the life path I’m on. I’m just in an extremely small pocket of society, and the people who are with me are usually a little, shall we say, odd… I’m Wiccan. And an odd sort of Wiccan at that, because I’m a Christian Wiccan and my spirituality is a huge part of my life. (I call myself an "Episcopagan" sometimes, because I’m Episcopalian as well as Wiccan.)Christian friends absolutely freak at me being Wiccan and treat me like a demon. (Out of pure ignorance of the Wiccan faith.) and my Wiccan friends are typically counter culture folks and/or anti-Christian, so I tend to get the cold shoulder on that side too, though I have to say, my Wiccan friends are more open minded about it and they don’t drop me entirely. I’ve been avoiding sharing that I’m Wiccan in this NG because chances are most people on this group are Christian (Just based on the demographics of the US and noticing most posters are from the US.), and I didn’t want grief about it here, when I need support here. If you’re interested to know more about what Wicca is, just let me know and I can explain. Just please don’t flame me. I hope this sheds a little light on what I mean by "too nice" and "too wild". Peace, phenix
Michelle, I am just trying to get a handle on all of this, ok? Your husband has:
" ADHD, has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (sex related), Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Severe Panic Disorder. Not altogether stable either, because everything other than the ADHD has been diagnosed within the last 18 mos, and he’s still having major adjustment problems. Plus he refused to take his ADHD medication. Says it interferes with his creativity at work." Your six year old has ADHD. You think your four year old is withdrawn and you are looking for signs of depression. You are bipolar, are a Christian witch, but have conflicts with your friends who cannot assimilate Christianity with Wiccan. I am assuming then, that the friend who dumped your weekend was a male witch who couldn’t cope with your Christian side. Yes? I am only rehashing because you have posted all of this in different places, and I am trying to understand. So, don’t take offense to this, ok? But, do you think you are in a somewhat of a manic phase now?
Response:
all. Don’t put some people’s failings on everyone. You dont’ want to exclude any chance for friendship! Denise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Oh, planning on it…but am hitting one that’s closer to home. And yeah, I learned not to trust yet again. People’s word means nothing these days. I’m trying very hard not to be cynical, but it’s hard not to be when reality bites you in the face. Well, then you learned something…..and is there a reason you can’t go by yourself to the park? Denise Why did the friend bail? Was there a legitimate reason? Denise Nope. Had it planned for over a month and since we live in diff cities and both have jobs, coordinating was near impossible. I’ve been looking forward to this excursion and it’s been keeping me aloft at times even. And then two days before…"well, it’s not a good weekend for me…" and that’s it.
Response:
.and now that I’m older I want that. ("No man is an island…") Just so mad that the universe seems to want me to be alone. Just so mad at everyone and everything. All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask??
how long have you been separated/divorced?
Response:
Hey Phenix…maybe you should consider doing all the things you want to do with *different* people….no one person can satisfy every part of us… My sis and I are off to a movie tonight…and tomorrow night I’m going to a PWP house party with friend of mine who is also in the same boat – no partner- and on Sunday i’m having a guy friend of mine come for dinner… My daughter is away on camp for a month….and so I’m going to have fun….and catch up with all my friends….some who are *nice* and quiet..and some who are *wicked* and have a great sense of fun! Make arrangements with a few different people – men and women – and you’ll have fun and… a much more fulfilling life!!! Temily
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Had a friend bail on plans for the weekend with me…hitting an amusement park to ride rollercoasters…one of my favs. He’s a total thrill seeker, living on the edge kinda person, and that agrees with my wilder side. But apparently he just considers me too "nice" to hang with. My husband on the other hand was scared to death of me feeling anything, let alone the wicked glee in something like rollercoasters. (I’m a near fanatic.) So I’m feeling rejected on the one hand for being too wild, and on the other hand for being too nice. I’m just so frustrated with relationships of any sort…marriage/friendships I want to scream. I just wish there was one person who could handle both sides of me, or at least accept that I have the other side and be OK with that. I wish I didn’t need other people, so that I could just say "F*ck off already, all of you. I don’t need this crap. I can live just fine all by myself." I grew up believing that I would live life as a loner, and have plenty of plans and ways to live. It really doesn’t bother me….but I know that it’s so much better and healthier to have people in your life…and now that I’m older I want that. ("No man is an island…") Just so mad that the universe seems to want me to be alone. Just so mad at everyone and everything. All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask??
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Had a friend bail on plans for the weekend with me…hitting an amusement park to ride rollercoasters…one of my favs. He’s a total thrill seeker, living on the edge kinda person, and that agrees with my wilder side. But apparently he just considers me too "nice" to hang with. My husband on the other hand was scared to death of me feeling anything, let alone the wicked glee in something like rollercoasters. (I’m a near fanatic.) So I’m feeling rejected on the one hand for being too wild, and on the other hand for being too nice. I’m just so frustrated with relationships of any sort…marriage/friendships I want to scream. I just wish there was one person who could handle both sides of me, or at least accept that I have the other side and be OK with that. I wish I didn’t need other people, so that I could just say "F*ck off already, all of you. I don’t need this crap. I can live just fine all by myself." I grew up believing that I would live life as a loner, and have plenty of plans and ways to live. It really doesn’t bother me….but I know that it’s so much better and healthier to have people in your life…and now that I’m older I want that. ("No man is an island…") Just so mad that the universe seems to want me to be alone. Just so mad at everyone and everything. All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask??
What, exactly, does it mean when someone tells you that you are "too nice" to hang out with? Is this someone you *really* want as a friend? You need to decide what kind of life you want to live, get comfortable with yourself and you will naturally gravitate to people who are appropriate for your lifestyle and beliefs.
Response:
.and now that I’m older I want that. ("No man is an island…") Just so mad that the universe seems to want me to be alone. Just so mad at everyone and everything. All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask?? how long have you been separated/divorced?
Since July 1 2001
Response:
Hey Phenix…maybe you should consider doing all the things you want to do with *different* people….no one person can satisfy every part of us…
Totally agreed. And I try. My sis and I are off to a movie tonight…and tomorrow night I’m going to a PWP house party with friend of mine who is also in the same boat – no partner- and on Sunday i’m having a guy friend of mine come for dinner… My daughter is away on camp for a month….and so I’m going to have fun….and catch up with all my friends….some who are *nice* and quiet..and some who are *wicked* and have a great sense of fun!
yeah, all fine and well, but do your friends ditch you and not talk to you because you spend time doing other kinds of things? That’s the kind of thing that happens to me. Make arrangements with a few different people – men and women – and you’ll have fun and… a much more fulfilling life!!! Temily
I’m glad it works for you. I haven’t been as lucky.
Response:
What, exactly, does it mean when someone tells you that you are "too nice" to hang out with? Is this someone you *really* want as a friend? You need to decide what kind of life you want to live, get comfortable with yourself and you will naturally gravitate to people who are appropriate for your lifestyle and beliefs.
Yeah, not a big problem there. I’m comfortable with me and the life path I’m on. I’m just in an extremely small pocket of society, and the people who are with me are usually a little, shall we say, odd… I’m Wiccan. And an odd sort of Wiccan at that, because I’m a Christian Wiccan and my spirituality is a huge part of my life. (I call myself an "Episcopagan" sometimes, because I’m Episcopalian as well as Wiccan.)Christian friends absolutely freak at me being Wiccan and treat me like a demon. (Out of pure ignorance of the Wiccan faith.) and my Wiccan friends are typically counter culture folks and/or anti-Christian, so I tend to get the cold shoulder on that side too, though I have to say, my Wiccan friends are more open minded about it and they don’t drop me entirely. I’ve been avoiding sharing that I’m Wiccan in this NG because chances are most people on this group are Christian (Just based on the demographics of the US and noticing most posters are from the US.), and I didn’t want grief about it here, when I need support here. If you’re interested to know more about what Wicca is, just let me know and I can explain. Just please don’t flame me. I hope this sheds a little light on what I mean by "too nice" and "too wild". Peace, phenix
Response:
Phenix (do you have a real first name?),
Yeah, Melissa…but I always use a handle on the net, because I’m a teacher, and I really don’t want my students snooping into my personal life. But because…achem…I have no friends…I need the net for human interactions beyond "hi, how ya doin?" Sounds like you’re sitting on the pity pot (as they say in 12-step groups). That’s OK — we all do it.
Yeah, maybe. But I’m not really feeling sorry for myself…just mad…though less so now. I just needed to blow a cork for a while is all. In fact, I went through a long phase this summer where I was doing the same thing. Not over my divorce – that’s way behind me — but over other things. The unfairness of life and all that. Anyway, right now, life feels pretty shitty. You’re separated and getting divorced, a guy friend you thought you could depend on has let you down, other people are letting you down — it sucks. Truth is, sometimes that’s life. It sucks.
Yes sometimes it is. That’s normal. It’s normal for people to have these spells *sometimes*. But I’m one of those "lucky" souls that is bipolar. So I live with it nearly every day, and sometimes I just burst, that’s all. It’s a little much to deal with sometimes. I’m pretty much balanced most of the time, but I can still get some pretty nasty mood swings under stress. This is yet another reason people tend to distance themselves from me. My mental illness is not something I share right off the bat, and most people when they find out are shocked because I seem so "normal". I’m just *that* good at putting on a front, and that’s not uncommon for bipolars. The good news is, it doesn’t last. It WILL get better. Turn your attention, for now, on things you can do that have a positive impact on your life. For example, I’m taking advantage of low-interest home improvement loans in my area to do some major work on my house. Screw romance — I’ve got a house to fix up!!!
LOL…I’ve been through the wringer so many times it’d make your head spin. And I have the ultimate faith that things will get better. That why I call myself phenix. I get burned on a fairly regular basis but always rise again. Always. Sometimes a little tooo much even. And an awfully good job, and an awesome 16 year old son, and great friends…you get the drift. Barb
Ahhhh, now there’s the difference. You have good friends. I don’t. Not a pity party. Just a fact. There are people I say hi to etc…that I’ll loosely call friends, but none that I can call outside of work or church etc..What’s wrong with someone recognizing that there’s noone in their life if that really is the case? It’s usually alright with me. I read, I meditate, I go out and do things by myself, I exercise, I play music, I work…you get the picture. There’s not enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do with my life! I don’t get bored…I just get lonely from time to time…because people do matter. I just wish one of the things I did was spend time with other people. But because I’m so flexible/ versatile/ gray/ independent/ unusual…there’s usually something that I do that royally offends when people get to know me better…and then poof, there goes another possible friend. Even if I don’t express that part of me when I’m with them. [For an analogy (only an analogy, I'm actually totally dry and clean and sober...straight as an arrow), consider if I were someone who liked pot, loved pot, was addicted to it. Consider if you became my friend let's say because we're both big movie buffs and didn't know about my drug use at first. Now if you're someone who is anti-drugs, when you found out about my using, wouldn't you think twice about continuing the friendship? I think so. Even if I promised I'd never do it around you.] Peace, phenix – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hey Phenix…maybe you should consider doing all the things you want to do with *different* people….no one person can satisfy every part of us… Totally agreed. And I try. My sis and I are off to a movie tonight…and tomorrow night I’m going to a PWP house party with friend of mine who is also in the same boat – no partner- and on Sunday i’m having a guy friend of mine come for dinner… My daughter is away on camp for a month….and so I’m going to have fun….and catch up with all my friends….some who are *nice* and quiet..and some who are *wicked* and have a great sense of fun! yeah, all fine and well, but do your friends ditch you and not talk to you because you spend time doing other kinds of things? That’s the kind of thing that happens to me. Make arrangements with a few different people – men and women – and you’ll have fun and… a much more fulfilling life!!! Temily I’m glad it works for you. I haven’t been as lucky.
Response:
Had a friend bail on plans for the weekend with me…hitting an amusement park to ride rollercoasters…one of my favs. He’s a total thrill seeker, living on the edge kinda person, and that agrees with my wilder side. But apparently he just considers me too "nice" to hang with. My husband on the other hand was scared to death of me feeling anything, let alone the wicked glee in something like rollercoasters. (I’m a near fanatic.) So I’m feeling rejected on the one hand for being too wild, and on the other hand for being too nice. I’m just so frustrated with relationships of any sort…marriage/friendships I want to scream. I just wish there was one person who could handle both sides of me, or at least accept that I have the other side and be OK with that. I wish I didn’t need other people, so that I could just say "F*ck off already, all of you. I don’t need this crap. I can live just fine all by myself." I grew up believing that I would live life as a loner, and have plenty of plans and ways to live. It really doesn’t bother me….but I know that it’s so much better and healthier to have people in your life…and now that I’m older I want that. ("No man is an island…") Just so mad that the universe seems to want me to be alone. Just so mad at everyone and everything. All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask??
Response:
Why did the friend bail? Was there a legitimate reason? Denise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Had a friend bail on plans for the weekend with me…hitting an amusement park to ride rollercoasters…one of my favs. He’s a total thrill seeker, living on the edge kinda person, and that agrees with my wilder side. But apparently he just considers me too "nice" to hang with. My husband on the other hand was scared to death of me feeling anything, let alone the wicked glee in something like rollercoasters. (I’m a near fanatic.) So I’m feeling rejected on the one hand for being too wild, and on the other hand for being too nice. I’m just so frustrated with relationships of any sort…marriage/friendships I want to scream. I just wish there was one person who could handle both sides of me, or at least accept that I have the other side and be OK with that. I wish I didn’t need other people, so that I could just say "F*ck off already, all of you. I don’t need this crap. I can live just fine all by myself." I grew up believing that I would live life as a loner, and have plenty of plans and ways to live. It really doesn’t bother me….but I know that it’s so much better and healthier to have people in your life…and now that I’m older I want that. ("No man is an island…") Just so mad that the universe seems to want me to be alone. Just so mad at everyone and everything. All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask??
Response:
Oh, planning on it…but am hitting one that’s closer to home. And yeah, I learned not to trust yet again. People’s word means nothing these days. I’m trying very hard not to be cynical, but it’s hard not to be when reality bites you in the face. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, then you learned something…..and is there a reason you can’t go by yourself to the park? Denise Why did the friend bail? Was there a legitimate reason? Denise Nope. Had it planned for over a month and since we live in diff cities and both have jobs, coordinating was near impossible. I’ve been looking forward to this excursion and it’s been keeping me aloft at times even. And then two days before…"well, it’s not a good weekend for me…" and that’s it.
Response:
Well, then you learned something…..and is there a reason you can’t go by yourself to the park? Denise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Why did the friend bail? Was there a legitimate reason? Denise Nope. Had it planned for over a month and since we live in diff cities and both have jobs, coordinating was near impossible. I’ve been looking forward to this excursion and it’s been keeping me aloft at times even. And then two days before…"well, it’s not a good weekend for me…" and that’s it.
Response:
Come again, Phenix? All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask?? Here on earth, that might be a tall order. But up above, probably not. As above….so below….
One of the maxim’s of my faith…that in a fundamental way, whatever happens is a reflection of…or influenced by…the divine, or some aspect thereof.
Response:
Why did the friend bail? Was there a legitimate reason? Denise
Nope. Had it planned for over a month and since we live in diff cities and both have jobs, coordinating was near impossible. I’ve been looking forward to this excursion and it’s been keeping me aloft at times even. And then two days before…"well, it’s not a good weekend for me…" and that’s it.
Response:
Come again, Phenix? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask?? Here on earth, that might be a tall order. But up above, probably not. As above….so below….
Response:
All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask?? Here on earth, that might be a tall order. But up above, probably not.
As above….so below….
Response:
All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to
ask?? Here on earth, that might be a tall order. But up above, probably not. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Had a friend bail on plans for the weekend with me…hitting an amusement park to ride rollercoasters…one of my favs. He’s a total thrill seeker, living on the edge kinda person, and that agrees with my wilder side. But apparently he just considers me too "nice" to hang with. My husband on the other hand was scared to death of me feeling anything, let alone the wicked glee in something like rollercoasters. (I’m a near fanatic.) So I’m feeling rejected on the one hand for being too wild, and on the other hand for being too nice. I’m just so frustrated with relationships of any sort…marriage/friendships I want to scream. I just wish there was one person who could handle both sides of me, or at least accept that I have the other side and be OK with that. I wish I didn’t need other people, so that I could just say "F*ck off already, all of you. I don’t need this crap. I can live just fine all by myself." I grew up believing that I would live life as a loner, and have plenty of plans and ways to live. It really doesn’t bother me….but I know that it’s so much better and healthier to have people in your life…and now that I’m older I want that. ("No man is an island…") Just so mad that the universe seems to want me to be alone. Just so mad at everyone and everything. All I want is to be accepted for who I am. Is that really so much to ask??
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