Question:
Here’s the one I was talking about guys… enjoy????? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the > > > Mental > > > Health Institute: > > > "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. > > > If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. > > > If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press for you. > > > If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are > > > paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we > > > can > > > trace your call. > > > If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to > the > > > Mothership. > > > If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell > > > you > > > which number to press. > > > If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you > > > press -no-one will answer. > > > If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. > > > If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until > a > > > representative comes on the line. > > > If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone > number, > > > date of birth, social security number and your mother’s maiden name. > > > If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press > > > 000. > > > If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or > > > before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. > > > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. > > > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. > > > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. > > > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. > > > If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All our operators are too > > > busy > > > to talk to you. > > > For help with recovering repressed memories, press the number that > > seems > > > most right to you, perhaps 8. But don’t press 8 just because we > > suggested > > > you press 8. Just let your inner knowledge tell you if 8 is the right > > > number > > > to press now. > > > If you are neurotic, it doesn’t matter which button you press as > you’ll > > > just get it wrong anyway. Besides we only use this system because we > > don’t > > > want to talk to you personally. > > > For hypnotherapy, slowly press 9, 8, 7, 6,….. relaxing more and > more > > > with each number, 5, 4, doing very well…4, 3……..
Response:
LOL! man that makes my day! thanks sally! peace scholar aka tracy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Sally Holmwood wrote in message <375FA4F4.45C0…@pncl.co.uk>… >Here’s the one I was talking about guys… enjoy????? >> > > A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the >> > > Mental >> > > Health Institute: >> > > "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. >> > > If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. >> > > If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press for you. >> > > If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are >> > > paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we >> > > can >> > > trace your call. >> > > If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to >> the >> > > Mothership. >> > > If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell >> > > you >> > > which number to press. >> > > If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you >> > > press -no-one will answer. >> > > If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. >> > > If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until >> a >> > > representative comes on the line. >> > > If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone >> number, >> > > date of birth, social security number and your mother’s maiden name. >> > > If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press >> > > 000. >> > > If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or >> > > before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. >> > > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. >> > > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. >> > > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. >> > > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. >> > > If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All our operators are too >> > > busy >> > > to talk to you. >> > > For help with recovering repressed memories, press the number that >> > seems >> > > most right to you, perhaps 8. But don’t press 8 just because we >> > suggested >> > > you press 8. Just let your inner knowledge tell you if 8 is the right >> > > number >> > > to press now. >> > > If you are neurotic, it doesn’t matter which button you press as >> you’ll >> > > just get it wrong anyway. Besides we only use this system because we >> > don’t >> > > want to talk to you personally. >> > > For hypnotherapy, slowly press 9, 8, 7, 6,….. relaxing more and >> more >> > > with each number, 5, 4, doing very well…4, 3……..
Response:
What a laugh I had for you USA’s 911 equivalent to 911 so I’m told. We all know how 000 respond to us originally! Thanks Barb
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