Question:
I’m afraid of people. I have a real imminent sense of danger among people, like they’re going to hurt me, physically, or that I’ll find myself in some predicament where I’ll be in danger because of the people I’m with, supposedly. I’ve been reading about social phobia, and mostly I read that it says a fear of embarassment and humiliation, but I don’t think that describes me accurately. I feel mostly a fear of danger, and a real fear of intimacy with others. I just always have these fears that I’m going to be killed, end up in jail, or another extreme circumstance if I hang out with people. I feel my security has been taken away.Most of my thoughts are spent trying to rationalize these fears; its really difficult though. I feel debilitated, and I don’t want to be around people because the power the feelings have over me, not because I don’t want to be around people, period. I don’t know about pscyhological labels, but does it come off like social phobia? I’ve been with this for three years now..
Response:
Hi Freddy, Nothing you said surprises me, exactly. And, yes, all of those symptoms…fear of dealing with strangers…afraid that strangers are going to hurt you…or, lead you towards getting hurt/danger?! Fear of intimacy with others…invasion of your private space…feeling total lack of trust…the closer people come/the more you feel your inner security is being threatened…therefore, you can’t fully open up/or,relax…not until when people are long gone. Worrying about being violently killed(by strangers)…/or, going off to jail(where one might get killed/-or, otherwise, hurt: beaten/raped/tortured/humiliated/or, even being surrounded by complete strangers – who you just do NOT trust?! Jail, must be like a feeling of experiencing constant DOMINATION…-where you are no longer IN CONTROL, anymore-…coming from both prison warders/and, from fellow inmate prisoners!) The sense of, constantly, being dominated -or, led/misled- by being in others company(indicating past betrayal(s), possibly?! Or, being led by others down wrongful paths which, originally, you did not wish to go follow…; and, which when you did go follow down…; only ended in sorrow, or, otherwise, failure/heartbreak.) These are all similar feelings/imaginings to what I have to go live with, too. Also, the sense of feeling sad, cold, miserable, lonely when there is nobody left to be near to(someone, who you feel you, truly, CAN trust)…after you’ve gone and cut everybody else off…-maybe, even up to and including God/religion- therefore, you prefer NOT to be left totally alone?! And, yet, still you only feel, quite truly, SAFE -(not dominated/and, not being misled)- when your are left on your own. To me, these problems/and, sometimes, absolutely awful contradictions(offering no way out, apparently?!)…are all, quite recognisably, related to a person who is experiencing Social Phobia symptoms. -(Though, I’m certainly no doctor myself…; therefore, if you wish to find a proper diagnosis…; then, perhaps, you should go see a proper doctor just to make 100% sure??? But, then, again, do you really trust stranger doctors to make true/or, false correct/or, incorrect diagnosis about yourself?! What if the so called ‘experts’ do get it wrong…; which everybody knows does happen from time to time?!)- However, what I don’t understand is the following statement… I’ve been with this for three years now.. <<< I was expecting you to say…and, I’ve been suffering these feelings for an entire lifetime…for so long, I can’t even remember where it all started from, anymore(as in my own case)?! Thus, I can’t help but to inquire…if these same fearful/distrustful feelings are relatively, ‘new’…and, what exactly had happened 3 years back to make you start feeling this way like all of a sudden…/and, still not be able to have fully recovered, yet?! -(PTSD-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also, comes to mind.)- Is it anything you can remember…which lead up to this, apparently, sudden change in your behaviours/thinking/feeling…??? Sometimes, people seem to be born with phobias…/other times, people are known to develop it, quite suddenly, instead…usually, after having experienced some really ‘bad’ experience(s)…which they just can’t forget?!/Or else, which their ‘unconcious’ can’t forget?! Subject: is this considered social phobia? From: fjpo…@yahoo.com (Freddy) Date: 14/05/04 15:00 GMT Daylight Time Message-id: <37728fe.0405140600.59567…@posting.google.com> I’m afraid of people. I have a real imminent sense of danger among people, like they’re going to hurt me, physically, or that I’ll find myself in some predicament where I’ll be in danger because of the people I’m with, supposedly. I’ve been reading about social phobia, and mostly I read that it says a fear of embarassment and humiliation, but I don’t think that describes me accurately. I feel mostly a fear of danger, and a real fear of intimacy with others. I just always have these fears that I’m going to be killed, end up in jail, or another extreme circumstance if I hang out with people. I feel my security has been taken away.Most of my thoughts are spent trying to rationalize these fears; its really difficult though. I feel debilitated, and I don’t want to be around people because the power the feelings have over me, not because I don’t want to be around people, period. I don’t know about pscyhological labels, but does it come off like social phobia? I’ve been with this for three years now.. <<<
Response:
Not sure about this. I attended group therapy 12 years ago where a lady in the group had similar problems. She always felt the police were out to get her when she went outside and seen by people. Maybe it’s a little social phobia and some kind of post-traumatic stress reaction? Social phobia is mostly fear of embarassment. This could be something else. I hope you are or will be seeing professional help for this. At least you can find out if it’s something more serious than sp. "Freddy" <fjpo…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:37728fe.0405140600.595675bc@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m afraid of people. I have a real imminent sense of danger among > people, like they’re going to hurt me, physically, or that I’ll find > myself in some predicament where I’ll be in danger because of the > people I’m with, supposedly. I’ve been reading about social phobia, > and mostly I read that it says a fear of embarassment and humiliation, > but I don’t think that describes me accurately. I feel mostly a fear > of danger, and a real fear of intimacy with others. I just always have > these fears that I’m going to be killed, end up in jail, or another > extreme circumstance if I hang out with people. I feel my security has > been taken away.Most of my thoughts are spent trying to rationalize > these fears; its really difficult though. I feel debilitated, and I > don’t want to be around people because the power the feelings have > over me, not because I don’t want to be around people, period. I don’t > know about pscyhological labels, but does it come off like social > phobia? > I’ve been with this for three years now..
Response:
sounds like social phobia with some agorophobia type things. I think anxiety disorders bleed into eachother from time to time. Sometimes when I’m talking to someone I don’t really know and they are close to me, after a period of time I feel like they are about to strike me. It sucks when it happens but it makes me laugh when i think about it.
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