Question:
writes: Each persons’ goals are different and so are the many inside. Like I said my major goal and focus was healing. As long as I focused on healing rather than integration my people inside didn’t get scared. In healing,
Although integration isn’t the answer for everyone, I am finding that I agree with you the focus on healing and interaction causes a certain blending. I am feeling that. Interesting observation. Take care, Crisis
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hi, This is my first time writing here. I was in therapy for about 3 to 4 years before I really saw major changes inside of me. And yes, there is healing. For myself, I found that the therapist I first worked with was not very helpful. My goal was integration, but most of all healing from the things which had haunted me for years. I am now integrated. This took 7 years and just occurred last year. My memories do not affect me like they did when I was working my memory process. My anxieties, agoraphobia, post traumatic stress symptoms, etc. have all disappeared. Although I still have some reactions to _anniversaries_. Each persons’ goals are different and so are the many inside. Like I said my major goal and focus was healing. As long as I focused on healing rather than integration my people inside didn’t get scared. In healing, R.K. Onceonethousand
Hi, Welcome and thanks for the message of hope! Rose & Company . . . and some day good WILL prevail over evil.
Response:
People have been asking here on ASD how long it takes to heal – and I have the very same question. This is martha, and I have been in therapy for 4 years. I have had a DID diagnosis and excellent help for the past 3. I used to think it would only take me a year. Now I laugh at the idea. I wish I knew how long. But I have finally decided (just this Friday, in fact) that I am going to be a many peoples for a while, and I might as well do everything in my power to cope with it. I’ve been much more open with my husband about it, and he has been more accepting too. I’ve decided I need to surround myself with people that accept this state of me’s and stop trying to pretend by having friends who would never accept the real me in a thousand years. I am saddened by this process, but I also can appreciate the "system" – for coping so well thus far. I think I need to stop counting the days left in therapy and start counting the minutes in the present when I feel joy and love. So, once again I’ve proven I’ve got worries about all this, and I also have a place inside where it doesn’t matter at all. 
Response:
I’m wondering how long some of you have been in therapy AFTER being = correctly diagnosed before things got better. We have been in for = almost 3 years now and things seem to be much worse in ways. We still = don’t have much communication among ourselves.Lots of bad feelings. Some = of our people don’t even like each other. Part of my job is to take care = of practical matters so the lives don’t fall apart. It is getting = harder and harder for me to do this. Talk of integration scares me —I = can’t quite understand how it will work out–I don’t want to go away for = good. Renae{Ney}
Dear Ney; I have been in therapy off and on for … let’s see … 15 years? I don’t really count the first 6-7 (sigh) because my therps had no clue what to do. I entered therapy in a serious fashion about 8 years ago, began working on my current issues about 5 years ago. Accepted "post-traumatic stress disorder" as my diagnosis until about a year ago, though my therapists knew I was DID. Now I know, too I’ve gotten more stable in the last 3-4 yeras, as much due to my SO as my therpay, in my opinion. She is one awesome woman. And my current therp has been leading me toward peace for the last year or two. I’d say I only began to "feel better" in the last month or so. **Now**, after all that, I need to turn my energy toward making myself a more functional person, happier, and so forth. This is just one person’s story, mind you, and I suspect that I am a slow learner <grin. Hope this helps. Be safe, Eudora * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Tears can make a river to take you somewhere new." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Response:
Hi, This is my first time writing here. I was in therapy for about 3 to 4 years before I really saw major changes inside of me. And yes, there is healing. For myself, I found that the therapist I first worked with was not very helpful. My goal was integration, but most of all healing from the things which had haunted me for years. I am now integrated. This took 7 years and just occurred last year. My memories do not affect me like they did when I was working my memory process. My anxieties, agoraphobia, post traumatic stress symptoms, etc. have all disappeared. Although I still have some reactions to _anniversaries_. Each persons’ goals are different and so are the many inside. Like I said my major goal and focus was healing. As long as I focused on healing rather than integration my people inside didn’t get scared. In healing, R.K. Onceonethousand
Response:
I’m wondering how long some of you have been in therapy AFTER being = correctly diagnosed before things got better. We have been in for = almost 3 years now and things seem to be much worse in ways. We still = don’t have much communication among ourselves.Lots of bad feelings. Some = of our people don’t even like each other. Part of my job is to take care = of practical matters so the lives don’t fall apart. It is getting = harder and harder for me to do this. Talk of integration scares me —I = can’t quite understand how it will work out–I don’t want to go away for = good. Renae{Ney} — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
Response:
I’m wondering how long some of you have been in therapy AFTER being = correctly diagnosed before things got better. We have been in for = almost 3 years now and things seem to be much worse in ways. We still = don’t have much communication among ourselves.Lots of bad feelings. Some = of our people don’t even like each other. Part of my job is to take care = of practical matters so the lives don’t fall apart. It is getting = harder and harder for me to do this. Talk of integration scares me —I = can’t quite understand how it will work out–I don’t want to go away for = good. Renae{Ney}
Hmm, tough question… By ‘better’ do you mean ‘cured’? Do you mean ‘more functional’? Do you mean ’somethings aren’t as bad but there are new ones in their place?’ I started in therapy in 1981 for suicidal depression. That got better within three years, although I wasn’t dealing with anything else. My therapist appearantly knew what was going on (I guess I kept switching in sessions:) but whenever he brought it up I’d ignore him. He finally figured out how to get me to listen to him so I quit therapy (that showed him!) Then I had ten years of relative calm, or least capable faking it. Then my SO had an affair and I fell apart and started having serious panic attacks. I started in therapy and almost immediately figured out what was going on (and got my ‘label’) and life just kept going downhill. I was in therapy for about two years before things started improving in any way you want to define it. Then life got much better real fast, like I was ‘cured’ all of a sudden (yeah, right) but at least I _felt_ better. So, I’ve been in therapy consistently since late 1991 with the correct diagnosis and if I say ‘are things better?’ I almost always say ‘no’ because things are so _different_ now than before (I mean, sheesh, I’m out almost all the time and know what is going on and stuff!:P) But if I really stop and compare I can see that things have been steadily getting better all along, as they change. In your case it may just be that there is a state of unbalance as your system changes and attempts to adapt to the new way of being. I too take care of the practical things in life and it is _very_ difficult now to do this, has been for about two years. I think it’s because I’m having to learn to do this in such a different way than before, kind of like if you suddenly lost your sight and had to learn to function. It would be a real pain for quite awhile but you would be slowly learning and adapting all along. You probably wouldn’t like it as it was happening, but you could look back and see the changes over time. As for integration, no one will be lost and no one will go away. The closest I can describe what has happened to my system is that suddenly I find I am _Jill_ and _Sara_ at the same time. I am aware of being both, yet I am aware I am just one person. We think of it as colors blending, so in this case it’s grey and orange blended to be a pale orange or an orangey grey. The kids inside don’t quite like this all the time so I certainly understand the fear, but you do _not_ have to integrate if you don’t want to so there is really nothing to worry about. I mean, how could you be forced to integrate?(imagine your therapist attempting to stuff you into someone else here:) *grin* And on top of it all, as long as I don’t think about all of this I’m fine but if I start thinking about it much I suddenly find myself back at square one ‘it didn’t happen, I’m just crazy, they don’t exist’ ARGH! Sorry I can’t be more help, but this does sound so familiar. Rainbow Colors (Jill) — I choose to post non-anon because my abusers are afraid. They would have to admit something happened in order to confront me; this they will never do. They are the only people who will be upset if they know who I am, and they are too afraid to admit to what they did. Black of Rainbow Colors
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