Question:
I’m in that aura phase so I just took 2 Fiorinal (all my Imitrex is at home in a drawer … very useful). I’m scared right now! This one feels like the kind that make me cry … a real head banger. I get in this thought process where I’m trying to convince myself to relax — "this one won’t be that bad, just breathe and relax…" — battling with the fear that says — "oooh…this one’s going to be bad, better plan on being out of commission about 4 pm… crying on the sofa …". Does anyone else do that? Battle with themselves? Or anticipate the pain? Be fearful of the pain itself and the consequences to your life? How do *you* handle it? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated … or commiseration… TIA y’all.
Response:
i know from my own experience if i cry it will only make the migraine worse. fear of what might happen always makes it seem worse because now you are also dealing with tension. i am here if you need someone to talk to. sending you a big hug ronnie queen of hugs
Response:
Does anyone else do that? Battle with themselves? Or anticipate the pain? Be fearful of the pain
P?, absolutely between the fear [anxiety] and the anger at the life robbing nature of this DEMON you can work yourself into a real tizy. for me I began to take control by use of yoga or taichi this provides a calming effect and allows me to CALM DOWN. Also I know it sounds trite but this too shall pass, if I thought I had to be in such pain forever I would long ago have checked out, but the fact is you will pass through the wall of pain and come out the other side drained but not permanately damaged. the neanderthal Pat
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I’m in that aura phase so I just took 2 Fiorinal (all my Imitrex is at home in a drawer … very useful). I’m scared right now! This one feels like the kind that make me cry … a real head banger. I get in this thought process where I’m trying to convince myself to relax — "this one won’t be that bad, just breathe and relax…" — battling with the fear that says — "oooh…this one’s going to be bad, better plan on being out of commission about 4 pm… crying on the sofa …". Does anyone else do that? Battle with themselves? Or anticipate the pain? Be fearful of the pain itself and the consequences to your life? How do *you* handle it? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated … or commiseration… TIA y’all.
I usually wake up with mine. So the first thing I do when I wake up is to check out my head if I have a pain begining I reach for the Imigran. There is not a day goes by when I don’t. I am sure tension does not improve things but it is hard to get tense when you know what can come. Jeff Jeff Price |/// Heaton - – //
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I’m in that aura phase so I just took 2 Fiorinal (all my Imitrex is at home in a drawer … very useful). I’m scared right now! This one feels like the kind that make me cry … a real head banger. I get in this thought process where I’m trying to convince myself to relax — "this one won’t be that bad, just breathe and relax…" — battling with the fear that says — "oooh…this one’s going to be bad, better plan on being out of commission about 4 pm… crying on the sofa …". Does anyone else do that? Battle with themselves? Or anticipate the pain? Be fearful of the pain itself and the consequences to your life? How do *you* handle it? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated … or commiseration… TIA y’all.
You sum it up beautifully, if that is the right word (and it probably isn’t)…. and my heart goes out to you as I think a lot of us on the NG will probably know that feeling of "What’s this one going to be like?? Bad?? Worse than last one, Oh No!" It’s only natural when you have experienced pain and you can feel it happening agin to have the emotions you describe. It will get better. It can be controlled. Sometimes to migraines will not be so bad. Live it a moment at a time. When the pain is not there, savour the moment. When it is there, I hope that knowing there are people who care about you will help. Take care and stick with us, we’ll support you however we can. Kind regards, Helen S
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Does anyone else do that? Battle with themselves? Or anticipate the pain? Be fearful of the pain itself and the consequences to your life? How do *you* handle it? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated … or commiseration… TIA y’all.
This is where biofeedback comes in for me. I can’t get rid of a headache with it, but I can calm myself. If you can’t do biofeedback right now (it takes training) you might want to try some relaxation tapes. There are also tapes for migraineurs and other headache sufferers available. I got some that were pretty good at Barnes & Noble. I find it helpful to remember that fear is a controlable mental reaction to a physical process (fight or flight syndrome). Fear is never about what is happening *now* but always about the future. The tapes can help you to stay in the present and deal with what is hppening this instant. Good luck! jane
Response:
Sorry I seem to have ‘lost’ your original post. Have you considered that this thought process is actually part of the migraine? It is for me. My husband thinks I just spend too much time alone and talk and argue with myself. Before the pain comes (and lasting even after), I often will argue with myself (the bad part is that spending much time alone I speak in my head but my facial expressions change depending on which side I’m on at the time). My view of all past life events is filtered by some black screen that rewrites intents and purposes. I can come up with psychological reasons for this (and my crying and crying, (or whatever extreme, joy, grief, love, etc. – more usual though is the crying). I am normally a happy, calm and rational person who does not behave so oddly. This would be the unfiltered view. I’ve been told (by neurologist) this is part of the migraine. That pressure is being put on a part of my brain that causes such and won’t let up until the pressure does. I have found that if I can just accept what is about to happen and relax and try not to think, but instead try to pamper myself somehow (instead of beating myself up because I can’t stop this process); such as take a bath, or drink herbal tea (jasmine, green, lemon balm, etc.) from a very special china cup — that I may still get the pain, but the emotional turmoil/roller coaster is not as severe. It is very hard to remember this when it hits though and often my husband will tell me to take a bath, and I no longer cry because I think he thinks I smell! I hope this helps you. I know it is very difficult when this descends. The pain is horrendous, but perhaps you cannot control the aura any more than the headache…and should not hold yourself responsible for such. Thanks for asking this question, I didn’t know others had the same thing. I’ve only been here a few months and discover much in this newsgroup. I sent some of the responses to myself to read ‘the next time’. Some very helpful people here. Just my thoughts, Pea Bee Yes…knowing the medicine is at-hand does really make one less stressed! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m in that aura phase so I just took 2 Fiorinal (all my Imitrex is at home in a drawer … very useful). I’m scared right now! This one feels like the kind that make me cry … a real head banger. I get in this thought process where I’m trying to convince myself to relax — "this one won’t be that bad, just breathe and relax…" — battling with the fear that says — "oooh…this one’s going to be bad, better plan on being out of commission about 4 pm… crying on the sofa …". Does anyone else do that? Battle with themselves? Or anticipate the pain? Be fearful of the pain itself and the consequences to your life? How do *you* handle it? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated … or commiseration… TIA y’all.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m in that aura phase so I just took 2 Fiorinal (all my Imitrex is at home in a drawer … very useful). I’m scared right now! This one feels like the kind that make me cry … a real head banger. I get in this thought process where I’m trying to convince myself to relax — "this one won’t be that bad, just breathe and relax…" — battling with the fear that says — "oooh…this one’s going to be bad, better plan on being out of commission about 4 pm… crying on the sofa …". Does anyone else do that? Battle with themselves? Or anticipate the pain? Be fearful of the pain itself and the consequences to your life? How do *you* handle it? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated … or commiseration… TIA y’all.
I can’t speak for anyone else on this NG, but more than once throughout my headache career, I’ve been diagnosised with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). The diagnosis was made several years after living with chronic pain. I fear pain—how bad will it be, what if the meds don’t take care of it, how long will this one last, and so on…. The first time a doctor mentioned this to me, I kind-of blew it off, cause PTSD was "the disorder" at the time, but then I heard it from two more doctors later on. We live lives of uncertaintantly, walking on egg shells, should I do this or that and what will people think of me. I also have flashbacks of "the" worst migraines, but more important, "the" worst doctors I’ve been to. This is not an easy life we live, and it is not out of the realm of possibily that we would be affected with PTSD since we live either in chronic pain, or always being faced with the possibility of a HA striking at any time. My .02 cents, Mary
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I’m in that aura phase so I just took 2 Fiorinal (all my Imitrex is at home in a drawer … very useful). I’m scared right now! This one feels like the kind that make me cry … a real head banger. I get in this thought process where I’m trying to convince myself to relax — "this one won’t be that bad, just breathe and relax…" — battling with the fear that says — "oooh…this one’s going to be bad, better plan on being out of commission about 4 pm… crying on the sofa …". Does anyone else do that? Battle with themselves? Or anticipate the pain? Be fearful of the pain itself and the consequences to your life? How do *you* handle it? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated … or commiseration… TIA y’all.
Hi, Let’s see where do I begin…..from the time that I started to have monthly severe pain and had discovered codeine, my attitude towards pain medication was very like that of some people I know who feel enormous anxiety if their cupboards aren’t stocked with food. As long as I have my prescription filled there’s no question that my tension level is lessened. As a matter of fact, I’ve gotten so "tuned in" to my body that for a long while now the pain has begun the day after getting my prescription(s) refilled. And I definitely notice a very strong correlation with stress and the amount of pain and the length of time I’m in pain. Which is to say, there’s no avoiding the ha when it comes but I can often have input into keeping it slightly lessened in severity by arranging visits, appointments, noise level, sleep time, etc… BTW, I *always* have several codeine tablets with me for that unexpected alien abduction we’ve been warned about ; ) well, ok, just because it’s become like a security blanket to know the med is available if necessary. But I guess you’ve already decided that, yourself, haven’t you?! The effect severe pain has on me is to reduce me to a claustrophobic, weighted body of nerve-endings, and my mind seems limited to just the dimensions of the physical sensation. During this time I’m unable to access a clear memory of non-pain. So, yes, I fear it. It always feels like a new discovery when the pain goes away! I feel light and the world seems endless because my mind doesn’t feel trapped anymore. And this happens when I’m at home, which explains why I don’t feel a need to travel, I guess… : ) Anyway, I guess this is mostly commiseration. I can see many people answered your post, and I’m glad. Anne
Response:
During non-migraine times I have objectively put together the tell-tale signs of an oncoming migraine and a plan of action for the various types and intensity. When I’m getting a migraine, the mood swing and inability to make a decision are helped by this plan of action – gives me something effective to do, and reminds me I know how to get through it, and it will end as they have before. Perhaps the feelings of fear, etc. are part of the serotonin shift as opposed to being something you’ve generated by the types of thoughts you have… Best of luck! -Judy in Wisconsin
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My being afraid of the pain is what my husband and daughter like to call "talking myself into a headache". I try not to do it, but it’s not always easy.
I don’t think you can talk yourself into a headache any more than you can talk yourself out of one. When that cascade starts in your brain there ain’t no stopping it. I used to be very fearful, not of the pain exactly, but of the humiliation of going to the hospital, throwing up in my otherwise clean car, and the hours it usually took to get treated. Since I have had injectable medication to take I feel I am at least an equal contender with these things. I know if it gets horrible I don’t have to ask anyones permission to give myself a narcotic to dull the pain or have to listen to anyone tell me its just a headache its not that bad! (ER 1996) Its amazing how powerful you can feel when you have an equal weapon to fight the migraine. I do have to add I only have them 1 or 2 times a month, I may not feel on such equal footing if they start to increase. Thank God for my doctors confidence in me. Not all doctors think their patients are drug addicts and take narcotics at the drop of a hat . Pat
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My being afraid of the pain is what my husband and daughter like to call "talking myself into a headache". I try not to do it, but it’s not always easy. ** Cyndi ** "Time is like money…Many will help you spend it, some will steal it, there are those who want to help manage it, and those you owe it to…But what you do with it is always up to you." (Unless, of course, you have a headache!)
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I don’t always get auras with my migraines. But when I do, I feel frustration instead of fear. I know that in 40 minutes the headache will begin, so I have 40 minutes to do EVERYTHING I wanted to get done that day, ‘cuz in 45 minutes I’ll be flat on my back in bed with my head propped up on a pillow wallowing in pain and nausea. And I won’t be able to move from there for the rest of the day. I remember one time I was mopping the kitchen floor (which I rarely do 
, and I got an aura. I was determined to finish that floor before the headache started so I mopped and mopped furiously, though I couldn’t see because of the scintillating scotoma. The headache started before I could finish and I just had to drop the mop and give up. After that, I decided not to fight it. When I get an aura, I take some drugs and give up on the rest of the day. ~Diane — To E-Mail us, delete ## characters from our address. Freshwater Pearls Puppetry (Diane): http://www.primenet.com/~freshdlc/fwp.html Greenwood Tree (Stu): http://www.primenet.com/~freshdlc/gtree.html
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My greatest fear comes when my preventive medication fails and I’m sick all the time, sometimes with completely unbearable migraines. I’ve tried dozens of preventives and my fear is this: what if I reach a point where there just are no more preventives to try? It’s then that I feel desperate. But I try to remind myself that often I can go back to a preventive I’ve used before, if I have a 6-8 month break from it. I also try to remember that new drugs are coming out all the time. On the other hand, I have at least one built-in resistance to fear. When I’m not actually having an unbearable headache (the kind that truly makes me wish I were dead), I can’t remember what it feels like. It seems to be a way for my subconscious to cope, because if I truly could remember the indescribable intensity of misery that goes with such a headache, I’d live in fear of it every minute. ~Diane — To E-Mail us, delete ## characters from our address. Freshwater Pearls Puppetry (Diane): http://www.primenet.com/~freshdlc/fwp.html Greenwood Tree (Stu): http://www.primenet.com/~freshdlc/gtree.html
Response:
Have you considered that this thought process is actually part of the migraine? It is for me.
I hadn’t actually! But you may be right! At first I was thinking maybe it’s a reaction (or anticipation) to the pain. But when I had my daughter, I didn’t freak out about the pain. Childbirth is pretty painful but in my mind, I didn’t do the same thing. You know? I wasn’t battling with myself about it. I’ve been told (by neurologist) this is part of the migraine. That pressure is being put on a part of my brain that causes such and won’t let up until the pressure does. I have found that if I can just accept what is about to happen and relax and try not to think, but instead try to pamper myself somehow (instead of beating myself up because I can’t stop this process); such as take a bath, or drink herbal tea (jasmine, green, lemon balm, etc.) from a very special china cup — that I may still get the pain, but the emotional turmoil/roller coaster is not as severe.
Interesting idea — that it is part of the migraine. And you’re definitely right about the pampering. It doesn’t make the pain any better, but at least you’re not putting more stress on your body or mind to accomplish other things. Thanks for asking this question, I didn’t know others had the same thing.
Me neither. Not sure if that’s comforting or frightening. More comforting I think.
Response:
And all the migraine sufferers say "amen"! I got the stress disorder thing, and was at one time compared to Pavlov’s dog (whom I suspect was smarter that the doctor who quoted Pavlov). I think the truth is that we can avoid triggers, but cannot control the migraines, OR WE WOULD ALL CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE THEM! While we may all know this, it’s hard to keep that in mind when dealing with family member whose response to the mention of head pain is "of course you do" when that is our own feeling as well. PB – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I can’t speak for anyone else on this NG, but more than once throughout my headache career, I’ve been diagnosised with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). The diagnosis was made several years after living with chronic pain. I fear pain—how bad will it be, what if the meds don’t take care of it, how long will this one last, and so on…. The first time a doctor mentioned this to me, I kind-of blew it off, cause PTSD was "the disorder" at the time, but then I heard it from two more doctors later on. We live lives of uncertaintantly, walking on egg shells, should I do this or that and what will people think of me. I also have flashbacks of "the" worst migraines, but more important, "the" worst doctors I’ve been to. This is not an easy life we live, and it is not out of the realm of possibily that we would be affected with PTSD since we live either in chronic pain, or always being faced with the possibility of a HA striking at any time. My .02 cents, Mary
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