Question:
Hello Ray. This is pretty hard to explain, but it’s more like taking out my frustrations on myself. It’s different for everyone. It’s like some people when there mad the sound of breaking glass is calming. If I’m overly angry, I cut to let out the pain and frustration. It doesn’t hurt. If your really mad and you get into a fight your probably not going to feel the effects until you’ve calmed down. ~Michele "Ray Cochener" <silver…@feist.com> wrote in message
news:ARKE7.2210$kb6.31378@nntp3.onemain.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have to ask, when you cut, is it too feel pain or is it because of some > kind of natural painkiller/endorphine rush sort of thing? What do you feel? > Personally it’s too close to my phobias for me to have ever considered it > even if I were likely to consider it, which is in part why I ask… > "NIKKI PAPENBURG" <nikk…@prodigy.net> wrote in message > news:gnEE7.14098$Yr5.2287290576@newssvr15.news.prodigy.com… > > never be ashamed of who or what you do i too cut on myself > > "Loon Atick" <ds…@mn.rr.com> wrote in message > > news:3be50328.106348465@news-server.mn.rr.com… > > > (((((((((((BIG HUGS, BECCA)))))))))))) > > > You can email me personally any time. I will be here for you!!! > > > Love, Loony > > > ds…@mn.rr.com > > > On Fri, 02 Nov 2001 17:49:47 GMT, "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> > > > wrote: > > > >we tend to use whatever works… to cope with our own version of > reality. > > I > > > >usually cut when I am alone and having panic attacks… I try to use my > > > >support system before I cut… but sometimes they just cannot come > > > >running… this fear of being alone is so overwhelming that my > boyfriend > > > >usually arranges for someone else to be here with me at night (when it > is > > > >worse) and this weekend, it just didn’t happen… no one could come… > > > >but I felt better for having called a few people and trying… instead > of > > > >giving in right away… > > > >becca > > > >"Penny Hardwick" <pentje…@home.com> wrote in message > > > >news:dbAE7.127359$P8.43755392@news1.elmhst1.il.home.com… > > > >> Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. I’ve > > > >ended > > > >> up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed > of > > it. > > > >I > > > >> haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone here > > > >> self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people would > > > >think. > > > >> I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me > > "differently". > > > >> Thank you for your courage. > > > >> ~Michele > > > >> "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message > > > >> news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… > > > >> > i cut again…
Response:
If that’s the case, you might want to take up Tai Chi. Or boxing. Something sufficiently safe that you won’t get seriously hurt but sufficiently violent that it lets the rage out. (I use the aracade games based on the firing of automatic weapons and grenade launchers.) "mkayha" <mkay…@home.com> wrote in message
news:6ITE7.129786$P8.44538901@news1.elmhst1.il.home.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hello Ray. This is pretty hard to explain, but it’s more like taking out my > frustrations on myself. It’s different for everyone. It’s like some people > when there mad the sound of breaking glass is calming. If I’m overly angry, > I cut to let out the pain and frustration. It doesn’t hurt. If your really > mad and you get into a fight your probably not going to feel the effects > until you’ve calmed down. > ~Michele > "Ray Cochener" <silver…@feist.com> wrote in message > news:ARKE7.2210$kb6.31378@nntp3.onemain.com… > > I have to ask, when you cut, is it too feel pain or is it because of some > > kind of natural painkiller/endorphine rush sort of thing? What do you > feel? > > Personally it’s too close to my phobias for me to have ever considered it > > even if I were likely to consider it, which is in part why I ask… > > "NIKKI PAPENBURG" <nikk…@prodigy.net> wrote in message > > news:gnEE7.14098$Yr5.2287290576@newssvr15.news.prodigy.com… > > > never be ashamed of who or what you do i too cut on myself > > > "Loon Atick" <ds…@mn.rr.com> wrote in message > > > news:3be50328.106348465@news-server.mn.rr.com… > > > > (((((((((((BIG HUGS, BECCA)))))))))))) > > > > You can email me personally any time. I will be here for you!!! > > > > Love, Loony > > > > ds…@mn.rr.com > > > > On Fri, 02 Nov 2001 17:49:47 GMT, "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> > > > > wrote: > > > > >we tend to use whatever works… to cope with our own version of > > reality. > > > I > > > > >usually cut when I am alone and having panic attacks… I try to use > my > > > > >support system before I cut… but sometimes they just cannot come > > > > >running… this fear of being alone is so overwhelming that my > > boyfriend > > > > >usually arranges for someone else to be here with me at night (when > it > > is > > > > >worse) and this weekend, it just didn’t happen… no one could > come… > > > > >but I felt better for having called a few people and trying… > instead > > of > > > > >giving in right away… > > > > >becca > > > > >"Penny Hardwick" <pentje…@home.com> wrote in message > > > > >news:dbAE7.127359$P8.43755392@news1.elmhst1.il.home.com… > > > > >> Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. > I’ve > > > > >ended > > > > >> up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed > > of > > > it. > > > > >I > > > > >> haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone > here > > > > >> self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people > would > > > > >think. > > > > >> I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me > > > "differently". > > > > >> Thank you for your courage. > > > > >> ~Michele > > > > >> "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message > > > > >> news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… > > > > >> > i cut again…
Response:
I have to ask, when you cut, is it too feel pain or is it because of some kind of natural painkiller/endorphine rush sort of thing? What do you feel? Personally it’s too close to my phobias for me to have ever considered it even if I were likely to consider it, which is in part why I ask… "NIKKI PAPENBURG" <nikk…@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:gnEE7.14098$Yr5.2287290576@newssvr15.news.prodigy.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> never be ashamed of who or what you do i too cut on myself > "Loon Atick" <ds…@mn.rr.com> wrote in message > news:3be50328.106348465@news-server.mn.rr.com… > > (((((((((((BIG HUGS, BECCA)))))))))))) > > You can email me personally any time. I will be here for you!!! > > Love, Loony > > ds…@mn.rr.com > > On Fri, 02 Nov 2001 17:49:47 GMT, "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> > > wrote: > > >we tend to use whatever works… to cope with our own version of reality. > I > > >usually cut when I am alone and having panic attacks… I try to use my > > >support system before I cut… but sometimes they just cannot come > > >running… this fear of being alone is so overwhelming that my boyfriend > > >usually arranges for someone else to be here with me at night (when it is > > >worse) and this weekend, it just didn’t happen… no one could come… > > >but I felt better for having called a few people and trying… instead of > > >giving in right away… > > >becca > > >"Penny Hardwick" <pentje…@home.com> wrote in message > > >news:dbAE7.127359$P8.43755392@news1.elmhst1.il.home.com… > > >> Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. I’ve > > >ended > > >> up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed of > it. > > >I > > >> haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone here > > >> self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people would > > >think. > > >> I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me > "differently". > > >> Thank you for your courage. > > >> ~Michele > > >> "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message > > >> news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… > > >> > i cut again…
Response:
(((((((((((BIG HUGS, BECCA)))))))))))) You can email me personally any time. I will be here for you!!! Love, Loony ds…@mn.rr.com On Fri, 02 Nov 2001 17:49:47 GMT, "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->we tend to use whatever works… to cope with our own version of reality. I >usually cut when I am alone and having panic attacks… I try to use my >support system before I cut… but sometimes they just cannot come >running… this fear of being alone is so overwhelming that my boyfriend >usually arranges for someone else to be here with me at night (when it is >worse) and this weekend, it just didn’t happen… no one could come… >but I felt better for having called a few people and trying… instead of >giving in right away… >becca >"Penny Hardwick" <pentje…@home.com> wrote in message >news:dbAE7.127359$P8.43755392@news1.elmhst1.il.home.com… >> Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. I’ve >ended >> up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed of it. >I >> haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone here >> self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people would >think. >> I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me "differently". >> Thank you for your courage. >> ~Michele >> "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message >> news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… >> > i cut again…
Response:
never be ashamed of who or what you do i too cut on myself "Loon Atick" <ds…@mn.rr.com> wrote in message
news:3be50328.106348465@news-server.mn.rr.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> (((((((((((BIG HUGS, BECCA)))))))))))) > You can email me personally any time. I will be here for you!!! > Love, Loony > ds…@mn.rr.com > On Fri, 02 Nov 2001 17:49:47 GMT, "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> > wrote: > >we tend to use whatever works… to cope with our own version of reality. I > >usually cut when I am alone and having panic attacks… I try to use my > >support system before I cut… but sometimes they just cannot come > >running… this fear of being alone is so overwhelming that my boyfriend > >usually arranges for someone else to be here with me at night (when it is > >worse) and this weekend, it just didn’t happen… no one could come… > >but I felt better for having called a few people and trying… instead of > >giving in right away… > >becca > >"Penny Hardwick" <pentje…@home.com> wrote in message > >news:dbAE7.127359$P8.43755392@news1.elmhst1.il.home.com… > >> Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. I’ve > >ended > >> up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed of it. > >I > >> haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone here > >> self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people would > >think. > >> I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me "differently". > >> Thank you for your courage. > >> ~Michele > >> "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message > >> news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… > >> > i cut again…
Response:
Hi Michele, In article <dbAE7.127359$P8.43755…@news1.elmhst1.il.home.com>, Penny Hardwick <pentje…@home.com> wrote: > Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. I’ve ended > up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed of it. I > haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone here > self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people would think. > I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me "differently". > Thank you for your courage. > ~Michele
I would never see you differently for being someone who cuts. I used to cut a lot and have scars on one arm. It is a coping mechanism with links to others like drinking, taking drugs, over/under eating, spending and many others I could mention. Some people would judge others whatever they did as that is the way some people are. I have many reasons to believe that in this group people are accepting and will be honoured that you disclosed the fact that you cut. In my way of thinking, you have nothing to be ashamed of. I am not ashamed of you, cutting is a method of /surviving/ life, which we all know can often be so difficult. Take care, Erin. — Erin, e…@ukgateway.net
Response:
Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. I’ve ended up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed of it. I haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone here self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people would think. I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me "differently". Thank you for your courage. ~Michele "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message
news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> i cut again…
Response:
we tend to use whatever works… to cope with our own version of reality. I usually cut when I am alone and having panic attacks… I try to use my support system before I cut… but sometimes they just cannot come running… this fear of being alone is so overwhelming that my boyfriend usually arranges for someone else to be here with me at night (when it is worse) and this weekend, it just didn’t happen… no one could come… but I felt better for having called a few people and trying… instead of giving in right away… becca "Penny Hardwick" <pentje…@home.com> wrote in message
news:dbAE7.127359$P8.43755392@news1.elmhst1.il.home.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. I’ve ended > up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed of it. I > haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone here > self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people would think. > I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me "differently". > Thank you for your courage. > ~Michele > "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message > news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… > > i cut again…
Response:
Michele, NOTHING could make me change my opinion of you! You are a wonderful person!! I’m sorry you’ve been through this in your life, and please don’t be ashamed. It is not your fault. We are here to support each other through these things. You and Butterfly definitely have a lot of courage, and I admire you for it!! Big hugs, Deb On Fri, 02 Nov 2001 16:52:25 GMT, "Penny Hardwick" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<pentje…@home.com> wrote: >Hello Butterfly. I cut too, but only when I have my worst rages. I’ve ended >up in the ER because of it. I have pretty bad scars and I’m ashamed of it. I >haven’t talked about this on the ng because I don’t think anyone here >self-injures in that way and I have been afraid of what people would think. >I was afraid they may change their opinion if me or see me "differently". >Thank you for your courage. >~Michele >"Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message >news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… >> i cut again…
Response:
All I can tell you Vaipan, is the self diagnosis is the worst thing for you. Do you have a therapist? If not its worth getting assessed and seeing what is wrong. Demon. "Vaipen" <nospam.ver…@maildump.nl> wrote in message
news:3bdd503c.34988270@news… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Sun, 28 Oct 2001 22:38:55 +1100, "_Demon_Eyes_" <a…@nowhere.com> > eloquently sang the following hymns: > >Thanks Vaipan! > >How are you anyways? > >Demon. > I don’t feel very good at the moment. My mind is occupied with only one > thing, that is what is wrong with me. i am trying to find out by reading > about all these disorfders to see if I can recognise myself in them. I can;t > stop, I know it is bad for me to do this but I am obsessed with diagnosis at > the moment. Perhaps I should take my risperdal again. I had some anxiety > last night too. I don’t have that taking Risperdal but how will i know if I > have to take Risperdal if I use it all the time? My psychiatrist suggested > that I migth need to take it a longer time but I don’t know if that is > really useful. Ahhhggg, I am going crazy this has to stop i can’t go on like > this > / . __ _ > / | | _| |_ | | > /– | | |_ | | > Team | AMIGA
Response:
I did that… and I fit into so many that it made me sick… but not into any one exclusively… becca "Vaipen" <nospam.ver…@maildump.nl> wrote in message
news:3bdd503c.34988270@news… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Sun, 28 Oct 2001 22:38:55 +1100, "_Demon_Eyes_" <a…@nowhere.com> > eloquently sang the following hymns: > >Thanks Vaipan! > >How are you anyways? > >Demon. > I don’t feel very good at the moment. My mind is occupied with only one > thing, that is what is wrong with me. i am trying to find out by reading > about all these disorfders to see if I can recognise myself in them. I can;t > stop, I know it is bad for me to do this but I am obsessed with diagnosis at > the moment. Perhaps I should take my risperdal again. I had some anxiety > last night too. I don’t have that taking Risperdal but how will i know if I > have to take Risperdal if I use it all the time? My psychiatrist suggested > that I migth need to take it a longer time but I don’t know if that is > really useful. Ahhhggg, I am going crazy this has to stop i can’t go on like > this > / . __ _ > / | | _| |_ | | > /– | | |_ | | > Team | AMIGA
Response:
Thanks Vaipan! How are you anyways? Demon. "Vaipen" <nospam.ver…@maildump.nl> wrote in message
news:3bdfdb96.5121876@news… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Sun, 28 Oct 2001 10:47:39 +1100, "_Demon_Eyes_" <a…@nowhere.com> > eloquently sang the following hymns: > >No problems Becca, > >As long as you are feeling better today, though if you aren’t already in > >therapy I do strongly suggest it. I am not sure what PTSD is? I assume its > >something about paranoid thinking? Anyways, we are here if you need to > >whinge 
) > >*hugs* > >Demon. > Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. > / . __ _ > / | | _| |_ | | > /– | | |_ | | > Team | AMIGA
Response:
I also have PTSD, Becca. Bless you, hun. I know the fear it causes. It can be devastating. When my husband goes out of town, I sleep with all the lights on and my alarm system set and I still worry. (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Loony Deb On Sun, 28 Oct 2001 10:19:17 GMT, nospam.ver…@maildump.nl (Vaipen) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->On Sun, 28 Oct 2001 10:47:39 +1100, "_Demon_Eyes_" <a…@nowhere.com> >eloquently sang the following hymns: >>No problems Becca, >>As long as you are feeling better today, though if you aren’t already in >>therapy I do strongly suggest it. I am not sure what PTSD is? I assume its >>something about paranoid thinking? Anyways, we are here if you need to >>whinge ) >>*hugs* >>Demon. >Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. > / . __ _ > / | | _| |_ | | > /– | | |_ | | > Team | AMIGA
Response:
No problems Becca, As long as you are feeling better today, though if you aren’t already in therapy I do strongly suggest it. I am not sure what PTSD is? I assume its something about paranoid thinking? Anyways, we are here if you need to whinge ) *hugs* Demon. "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message
news:GaFC7.932$fO2.324806@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> thank you D… > I am feeling better today… just had a bad night… my boyfriend is off > hunting and I was alone… I try to always have someone here with me > because I have such severe panic attacks… I also have PTSD and was sure my > ex was out there last night… he was very abusive… but I realize today > that it was paranoid delusional thinking… I just felt like I was losing > it… you know? > becca… or buttterfly either is fine > If you learn from your suffering, > and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, > you might be able to help someone else who’s now > in the phase you may have just completed. > Maybe that’s what it’s all about after all… > ~ Anonymous ~
Response:
i cut again…
Response:
Hello Butterfly, I don’t believe we have met. Can you tell us a little about yourself? We are a nice group of people, non-judgemental and unbiased. I am Demon_Eyes otherwise known as Demon. Is it ok for me to call you Butterfly or would you like me to call you by name? Anyways, please feel free to talk to us, I would like to be as supportive as I can for your cutting but I don’t know about you and don’t know enough to be supportive. I know it is hard for you though, I have 2 friends who have been into cutting and I am into a little self-mutilation myself. I would like to help you if I can. *hugs* only if you want them. Demon. "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message
news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> i cut again…
Response:
thank you D… I am feeling better today… just had a bad night… my boyfriend is off hunting and I was alone… I try to always have someone here with me because I have such severe panic attacks… I also have PTSD and was sure my ex was out there last night… he was very abusive… but I realize today that it was paranoid delusional thinking… I just felt like I was losing it… you know? becca… or buttterfly either is fine If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else who’s now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that’s what it’s all about after all… ~ Anonymous ~ "_Demon_Eyes_" <a…@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:3ovC7.2192$Fi4.124812@ozemail.com.au… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hello Butterfly, > I don’t believe we have met. Can you tell us a little about yourself? We are > a nice group of people, non-judgemental and unbiased. I am Demon_Eyes > otherwise known as Demon. Is it ok for me to call you Butterfly or would you > like me to call you by name? Anyways, please feel free to talk to us, I > would like to be as supportive as I can for your cutting but I don’t know > about you and don’t know enough to be supportive. I know it is hard for you > though, I have 2 friends who have been into cutting and I am into a little > self-mutilation myself. I would like to help you if I can. > *hugs* only if you want them. > Demon. > "Butterfly" <res04…@gte.net> wrote in message > news:DbvC7.1$7H2.2021@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net… > > i cut again…
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