Question:
Joe, It is very important that you speak to your doctor as soon as possible and get a referral to a mental health professional. You are at risk for PTSD which can be avoided or lessened the quicker you get help. It is normal not to be able to talk to family members about this. Please see a doctor and keep us informed. Take care Lesleyanne The one and only chech @ http://home.thezone.net/~chech
Response:
Hi Joe; If you had shrugged your shoulders and walked away??? Even if that person had been a stranger, your experience would not have been different to you. You value your own existence so you also value and empathize with the existence of others. That it was your cousin makes it more difficult for you to bear. You sense the shock and the loss of your entire extended family and your own. What a horrific moment. I am sad and hurt to learn of this. Will you understand that you have experienced something that no one else around you has?? Tough on you, but fact. You cannot help but to feel alone and believe that no one understands. No person near you has had that experience and they cannot understand!!!!!!!!! Will you forgive them?? Now — if one of the people near you WANTS to understand?? If one of those people does feel empathy for you because, even though they have not had the same experience, they believe it must have been a horrible moment for you and they are concerned for your well being and your ability to adjust after such an event - will you let them in?? Different scenario, same thing, It was many years before I let anyone in and forgave people for not knowing. I hope you will not deprive yourself for such a long time!!!!!!! Steve Joe <J…@nobody.com> wrote in message
news:t6kQ3.8370$yp.60040@news.rdc1.pa.home.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I was wondering if anyone has witnessed a suicide or accidental death of a > familly member. Aug 2nd, I was sitting next to my cousin when he had shot > himself in the head. It’s just the hardest thing in the world for me right > now, the flashbacks are so intense. I can’t talk to family about it, > because it’s not something that would be healthy for them to hear. I can’t > explain in words to them what it’s like. The grief, guilt, and anger. I > just feel so alone and nobody understands.
Response:
Joe, I’m glad you took my reply in a positive way… good for you. The point I was trying to make, and I think you got it is: these thing just don’t go away. I tried that for many years, and ended up with all sorts of self ‘cures’ > drugs mostly… and NOT a route to go… believe me! It’s a painful journey to recovery. But left unchecked by a professional, things like this can simmer inside you. It’s the old saying: ‘we deal with our problems, or our problems deal with us’ >>> sad but true. A good therapist trained in PTSD can walk you through it. Please share any progress w/ me or the group. Best wishes. -G. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Joe wrote: > Thanks for the reply. I’m sorry about the subject line, I didn’t think much > about it I guess. I appreciate the information you’ve included about the > PTSD. I’ve been experiencing almost all of the listed symptoms. I didn’t > know how much of them were a normal reaction. I just hope they all go away. > thanks, > Joe
Response:
Possible Motor Vehicle accident trigger……. On Sun, 24 Oct 1999 05:21:35 GMT, "Joe" <J…@nobody.com> wrote: >Thanks for the reply. I’m sorry about the subject line, I didn’t think much >about it I guess. I appreciate the information you’ve included about the >PTSD. I’ve been experiencing almost all of the listed symptoms. I didn’t >know how much of them were a normal reaction. I just hope they all go away. >thanks, >Joe
Joe, They are *all* normal reactions, but they are very unlikely to go away properly on their own. It is *very* normal for this to happen to *anyone* who has suffered an intense trauma. It is a sign that your mind is clever enough to protect your sanity. Once again – PTSD is a *normal* reation to *abnormal* events. I read a book toward the end of my acute phase that covered the lives of some 30 or so elderly people who had survived a pretty horrific bus crash, and the Emergency Services personnel who attended the accidient. The authors of that book found that failure to discuss the trauma shortly after the traumatic event – a kind of ‘processing’, if you like – contributed to onset of chronic PTSD. I would therefore stongly suggest that you approach some kind of professional counsellor/therapist as soon as humanly possible to ‘download’ your experience. I would be doing you a disservice if I implied that this will be an easy process. It won’t be. For that you have my deepest sympathy. I do believe, however, that if trauma is allowed to be buried it will fester. I thought (quite rightly) that my PTSD symptoms were normal, and I also thought (quite wrongly) that they would just ‘go away’. For a long time it seemed to me that they did. Over the course of 20 years if I had a flashback either I don’t remember it as such or I wasn’t aware that was what it was. Then one day I was triggered by a violent event into a full-blown living-it, being there flashback and discovered a whole can of worms just under the surface. I hope lots that this kind of thing doesn’t happen to you. Best regards, The Celt. COTL Icq 45954753 My candle burns at both ends, It will not last the night; But ah, my foes and oh, my friends - It gives a lovely Light… Edna St. Vincent Millay. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->-G. <anima…@yahoo.com> wrote in message >news:38125109.3CB28F3F@yahoo.com… >> Hello, >> Below is diagnostic criteria for PTSD. From your post it sounds like you >> qualify…sorry to say… That must have been horrible to witness. >> The quicker you talk to a professional, the better chance you have at >> recovering. Left unchecked, this could cause further problems for you. >It’s >> been my experience that family members are little or no help. >> BTW- it’s a good idea to add ‘**Triggers**’ to your subject line, if >you’re >> going to describe traumatic events in graphic detail. It’s OK to describe >> events like this here… that’s what this group is here for, but a little >> warning is nice. And I would not have ’suicide’ in the subject either. >Maybe >> something like this for your subject line: ‘Anyone witnessed a traumatic >event? >> Need help! **Triggers**’ This way people aren’t surprised with graphic >> traumatic details. If we want to open a triggering post, such as your >original >> post, we can do so when we’re ready. >> I’m not coming down on you, and please feel free to post more of your >story. >> I’m very sorry to hear of your situation. And I hope you can find the >strength >> to get some professional help. >> Best wishes. Feel free to email me. >> -G. >> text from Desk Reference to the Diagnostic Criteria from DSM-IV ™ >> copyright 1994 American Psychiatric Association. >> 309.81 Post traumatic Stress Disorder >> A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the >> following were present: >> (1) the person experienced, witnessed, or was con-fronted with an event >> or >> events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a >> threat to the physical integrity of self or others >> (2) the person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or >> horror. >> Note: In children, this may be expressed instead by disorganized or >> agitated >> behavior >> B. The traumatic event is persistently reexperienced in one (or more) of >> the >> following ways: >> (1) recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, >> including images, thoughts, or perceptions. Note: In young children, >> repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the trauma are >> expressed. >> (2) recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: >> In children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable >> content. >> (3) acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes >> a >> sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and >> dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur on awakening >> or >> when intoxicated). Note: In young children, trauma-specific reenactment >> may >> occur. >> (4) intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external >> cues >> that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event >> (5) physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues >> that >> symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event >> C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and >> numbing of >> general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by >> three (or more) of the following: >> (1) efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated >> with >> the trauma >> (2) efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse >> recollections >> of the trauma >> (3) inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma >> (4) markedly diminished interest or participation in significant >> activities >> (5) feeling of detachment or estrangement from others >> (6) restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings) >> (7) sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a >> career, >> marriage, children, or a normal life span) >> D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present >> before the trauma), as indicated by two (or more) of the >> following: >> (1) difficulty falling or staying asleep >> (2) irritability or outbursts of anger >> (3) difficulty concentrating >> (4) hyper vigilance >> (5) exaggerated startle response >> E. Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in Criteria B, C, and D) is >> more >> than 1 month. >> F. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment >> in >> social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. >> Specify if: >> Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than 3 months >> Chronic: if duration of symptoms is 3 months or more >> Specify if: >> With Delayed Onset: if onset of symptoms is at least 6 months after the >> stressor >> Joe wrote: >> > I was wondering if anyone has witnessed a suicide or accidental death of >a >> > familly member. Aug 2nd, I was sitting next to my cousin when he had >shot >> > himself in the head. It’s just the hardest thing in the world for me >right >> > now, the flashbacks are so intense. I can’t talk to family about it, >> > because it’s not something that would be healthy for them to hear. I >can’t >> > explain in words to them what it’s like. The grief, guilt, and anger. >I >> > just feel so alone and nobody understands.
Response:
Thanks for the reply. I’m sorry about the subject line, I didn’t think much about it I guess. I appreciate the information you’ve included about the PTSD. I’ve been experiencing almost all of the listed symptoms. I didn’t know how much of them were a normal reaction. I just hope they all go away. thanks, Joe -G. <anima…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:38125109.3CB28F3F@yahoo.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hello, > Below is diagnostic criteria for PTSD. From your post it sounds like you > qualify…sorry to say… That must have been horrible to witness. > The quicker you talk to a professional, the better chance you have at > recovering. Left unchecked, this could cause further problems for you. It’s > been my experience that family members are little or no help. > BTW- it’s a good idea to add ‘**Triggers**’ to your subject line, if you’re > going to describe traumatic events in graphic detail. It’s OK to describe > events like this here… that’s what this group is here for, but a little > warning is nice. And I would not have ’suicide’ in the subject either. Maybe > something like this for your subject line: ‘Anyone witnessed a traumatic event? > Need help! **Triggers**’ This way people aren’t surprised with graphic > traumatic details. If we want to open a triggering post, such as your original > post, we can do so when we’re ready. > I’m not coming down on you, and please feel free to post more of your story. > I’m very sorry to hear of your situation. And I hope you can find the strength > to get some professional help. > Best wishes. Feel free to email me. > -G. > text from Desk Reference to the Diagnostic Criteria from DSM-IV ™ > copyright 1994 American Psychiatric Association. > 309.81 Post traumatic Stress Disorder > A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the > following were present: > (1) the person experienced, witnessed, or was con-fronted with an event > or > events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a > threat to the physical integrity of self or others > (2) the person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or > horror. > Note: In children, this may be expressed instead by disorganized or > agitated > behavior > B. The traumatic event is persistently reexperienced in one (or more) of > the > following ways: > (1) recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, > including images, thoughts, or perceptions. Note: In young children, > repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the trauma are > expressed. > (2) recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: > In children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable > content. > (3) acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes > a > sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and > dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur on awakening > or > when intoxicated). Note: In young children, trauma-specific reenactment > may > occur. > (4) intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external > cues > that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event > (5) physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues > that > symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event > C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and > numbing of > general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by > three (or more) of the following: > (1) efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated > with > the trauma > (2) efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse > recollections > of the trauma > (3) inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma > (4) markedly diminished interest or participation in significant > activities > (5) feeling of detachment or estrangement from others > (6) restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings) > (7) sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a > career, > marriage, children, or a normal life span) > D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present > before the trauma), as indicated by two (or more) of the > following: > (1) difficulty falling or staying asleep > (2) irritability or outbursts of anger > (3) difficulty concentrating > (4) hyper vigilance > (5) exaggerated startle response > E. Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in Criteria B, C, and D) is > more > than 1 month. > F. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment > in > social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. > Specify if: > Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than 3 months > Chronic: if duration of symptoms is 3 months or more > Specify if: > With Delayed Onset: if onset of symptoms is at least 6 months after the > stressor > Joe wrote: > > I was wondering if anyone has witnessed a suicide or accidental death of a > > familly member. Aug 2nd, I was sitting next to my cousin when he had shot > > himself in the head. It’s just the hardest thing in the world for me right > > now, the flashbacks are so intense. I can’t talk to family about it, > > because it’s not something that would be healthy for them to hear. I can’t > > explain in words to them what it’s like. The grief, guilt, and anger. I > > just feel so alone and nobody understands.
Response:
Hello, Below is diagnostic criteria for PTSD. From your post it sounds like you qualify…sorry to say… That must have been horrible to witness. The quicker you talk to a professional, the better chance you have at recovering. Left unchecked, this could cause further problems for you. It’s been my experience that family members are little or no help. BTW- it’s a good idea to add ‘**Triggers**’ to your subject line, if you’re going to describe traumatic events in graphic detail. It’s OK to describe events like this here… that’s what this group is here for, but a little warning is nice. And I would not have ’suicide’ in the subject either. Maybe something like this for your subject line: ‘Anyone witnessed a traumatic event? Need help! **Triggers**’ This way people aren’t surprised with graphic traumatic details. If we want to open a triggering post, such as your original post, we can do so when we’re ready. I’m not coming down on you, and please feel free to post more of your story. I’m very sorry to hear of your situation. And I hope you can find the strength to get some professional help. Best wishes. Feel free to email me. -G. text from Desk Reference to the Diagnostic Criteria from DSM-IV ™ copyright 1994 American Psychiatric Association. 309.81 Post traumatic Stress Disorder A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present: (1) the person experienced, witnessed, or was con-fronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others (2) the person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror. Note: In children, this may be expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behavior B. The traumatic event is persistently reexperienced in one (or more) of the following ways: (1) recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions. Note: In young children, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the trauma are expressed. (2) recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: In children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content. (3) acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur on awakening or when intoxicated). Note: In young children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur. (4) intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event (5) physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by three (or more) of the following: (1) efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma (2) efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma (3) inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma (4) markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities (5) feeling of detachment or estrangement from others (6) restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings) (7) sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span) D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma), as indicated by two (or more) of the following: (1) difficulty falling or staying asleep (2) irritability or outbursts of anger (3) difficulty concentrating (4) hyper vigilance (5) exaggerated startle response E. Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in Criteria B, C, and D) is more than 1 month. F. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. Specify if: Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than 3 months Chronic: if duration of symptoms is 3 months or more Specify if: With Delayed Onset: if onset of symptoms is at least 6 months after the stressor – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Joe wrote: > I was wondering if anyone has witnessed a suicide or accidental death of a > familly member. Aug 2nd, I was sitting next to my cousin when he had shot > himself in the head. It’s just the hardest thing in the world for me right > now, the flashbacks are so intense. I can’t talk to family about it, > because it’s not something that would be healthy for them to hear. I can’t > explain in words to them what it’s like. The grief, guilt, and anger. I > just feel so alone and nobody understands.
Response:
I was wondering if anyone has witnessed a suicide or accidental death of a familly member. Aug 2nd, I was sitting next to my cousin when he had shot himself in the head. It’s just the hardest thing in the world for me right now, the flashbacks are so intense. I can’t talk to family about it, because it’s not something that would be healthy for them to hear. I can’t explain in words to them what it’s like. The grief, guilt, and anger. I just feel so alone and nobody understands.
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