Question:
Phlapjak wrote:
> At the end of all of this you "wonder about how adults who continually > sexxually abuse children can be considered OCD". Actually, at the end of all of this I "wonder if you’re a troll".
Response:
"Ann R Quay" <ann.r.q…@virgin.net> wrote in message news:3C9AD6BE.1090006@virgin.net… > Phlapjak wrote: > > At the end of all of this you "wonder about how adults who continually > > sexxually abuse children can be considered OCD". > Actually, at the end of all of this I "wonder if you’re a troll".
Maybe I have it all wrong. I do know there is a wide variety of OCD symptoms, and I don’t have a copy of the BIG BOOK of mental disorders to quote from. I do know OCD, weather used as a single term or broken into its individual parts, is a severe problem for many people. I think the reason I brought the subject up relates to the recent admissions and disclosures of the Catholic Church regarding child sexual abuse that has been going on and PASSED on for centuries and causes so much pain in society. If we break OCD down to individual elements, we leave behind the standard, and very legitimate nature of OCD, i.e. illogical repetitive actions that preoccupy sufferrers to no end. Sexual compulsivity is a different beast all together. While "obsessivness" and "compulsivity" are the primary elements in what drives adults into such activities as child molestation/pornography, I agree it is a VASTLY different sort of disorder. I never intended to imply that sufferers of standard OCD had any tendency to be child abusers, and I hope no one regarded my thoughts as such. My main point is that the compulsivity involved in sexual behavior may have some similar chemical links to a much broader pattern; not that they are inter-involved, but that they may possibly, eventually be treated with better understanding. It is just a theory. I never meant to hurt, insult or insinuate anything about sufferers of OCD. After all, I am one myself. PS: I hope I’m not a troll. I’ll probably check before the night is through though…
Response:
"Phlapjak" <chimera.re…@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:FXxm8.1594$UN2.398@nwrddc02.gnilink.net… > At the end of all of this you "wonder about how adults who continually > sexxually abuse children can be considered OCD". What you seem to fail to > understand is that OCD is A LOT BIGGER and BROADER than "washing your hands > 100 times a day" (etc). It extends into sexual cumpulsivity as well.
Actually, no. The only compulsive sexual acts performed by those with OCD would the "checking" to see if there is an arousal when in the presence of feared stimuli. This could lead to masterbating to fear stimuli in an effort to "know for sure" whether their fears are justified. This is not a pleasurable act, it is a checking ritual. The OC individual believes that if he or she masterbates to feared stimuli and don’t obtain an erection, then they are not gay, or a paraphile or whatever the obsessions is. Of course, this just makes things worse because there is no way to know for sure, even after do that. And doing that in an of itself may exacerbate the obsessions later on. Sexual compulsivity has absolutely NOTHING to do with OCD. Let me say that again, SEXUAL COMPULSIVITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OCD. Sexual compusivity would be more along the lines of sexual addition or socipathic behavior. OC individuals DO NOT find the compulsion to act on their fears. In fact, they doe whatever they can to avoid said fears. > Consider the teenage male who wants desperately to to "fit in" with other > kids his age, but is compulsively wearing girls clothes in private. > OK: We have a term for that: transvistitasim. > But look at it as a BEHAVIOUR! It is OCD any way you look at it, and since
OCD is not a behaviour. It’s an error in brain processing that causes a person to obsess about things they fear, not a desire to do so. His behavior in wearing women’s clothes in private is driven by a desire to do so, or an inner feeling of gender confusion. > that kid has only one explaination for his problem, he feels about as > isolated as ANYONE with the standard description of OCD. But look at BOTH > behaviors! Each is OBSESSIVE and COMPULSSIVE. > Regardless of the sexual element they are BOTH OCD.
Obsessive and compulsive, as defined with regards to OCD, is not defined in the same way as we as a society tend to define them. "Obsession" would imply a longing for something to the point of not thinkink about anything else. OCD obsessions are intrusive thoughts that make no sense to the sufferer. The content of the thoughts are basically meaningless. It’s the fact that a person is getting intrusive thoughts shot into his brain that the person feels the need to do "Compulsions". Compulsions would imply an overwhelming urge to do something, almost to the point of not being able to control oneself (i.e. a compulsive gambler). OCD compulsions are RITUALS PERFORMED TO RELIEVE THE ANXIETY OF THE OBSESSIONS. That’s all they are. They are not what we normally define compulsions as. > We need to broaden our description of OCD to include ALL FORMS of SEXUAL > COMPULSIVITY within the standard rules established by society.
Again, sexual compulsivity is not even in the same spectrum as OCD or it’s related disorders. > I have tremendous empathy for anyone suffering from the "close at hand" > versions of OCD. It is a terrible problem. I suffer from a variant of the > disease. I spend almost all my time thinking about what I should do until > suddenly it’s too late to do anything. I have a big IQ but very little > APPTITUDE. And I have opinions (obviously). > I just want you all to realize that OCD exists in society in ways we > probably never considered. If all you can think about sexually relates to > children isn’t that a serious, and possibly common, expression of OCD???
No, it’s not. People who can’t think about anything but sexual contact with children are not usually the OCD type. OC individuals will obsess about "losing control" and doing something that they will never do. Pedophiles are people who received gratification from sexual situations and thoughts of children. OCD individuals do not recieve gratification from thought of having sex with a child. As a matter of fact it’s almost impossible. Plapjack, I think you have OCD as a disorder confused with what we normally think of when we here "obsession" and "compulsion". They are completely different concepts altogether. It – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> certainly doesn’t mean people with OCD are child molesters! > It just DOES mean that some very "good, upright" people in our society have > OCD on a SEXUAL level that TRANSCENDS societies arbitrary age limits, > primarily because SEX has its own LIMITATIONS and RULES, while Each Society > has its seperate rules. They are NEVER the same and will ALWAYS be in > conflict.
Response:
At the end of all of this you "wonder about how adults who continually sexxually abuse children can be considered OCD". What you seem to fail to understand is that OCD is A LOT BIGGER and BROADER than "washing your hands 100 times a day" (etc). It extends into sexual cumpulsivity as well. Consider the teenage male who wants desperately to to "fit in" with other kids his age, but is compulsively wearing girls clothes in private. OK: We have a term for that: transvistitasim. But look at it as a BEHAVIOUR! It is OCD any way you look at it, and since that kid has only one explaination for his problem, he feels about as isolated as ANYONE with the standard description of OCD. But look at BOTH behaviors! Each is OBSESSIVE and COMPULSSIVE. Regardless of the sexual element they are BOTH OCD. We need to broaden our description of OCD to include ALL FORMS of SEXUAL COMPULSIVITY within the standard rules established by society. I have tremendous empathy for anyone suffering from the "close at hand" versions of OCD. It is a terrible problem. I suffer from a variant of the disease. I spend almost all my time thinking about what I should do until suddenly it’s too late to do anything. I have a big IQ but very little APPTITUDE. And I have opinions (obviously). I just want you all to realize that OCD exists in society in ways we probably never considered. If all you can think about sexually relates to children isn’t that a serious, and possibly common, expression of OCD??? It certainly doesn’t mean people with OCD are child molesters! It just DOES mean that some very "good, upright" people in our society have OCD on a SEXUAL level that TRANSCENDS societies arbitrary age limits, primarily because SEX has its own LIMITATIONS and RULES, while Each Society has its seperate rules. They are NEVER the same and will ALWAYS be in conflict. "Bettis Fan" <none@spam_me.com> wrote in message
news:u9ihn67dd18ma7@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Phlapjak" <chimera.re…@verizon.net> wrote in message > news:l6Vl8.17581$9F2.17042@nwrddc02.gnilink.net… > > I believe that children who are substantially (and often even minimally) > > sexually abused BEFORE or NEAR/POST the dawn of puberty (both sexes) are > > ABUNDANT in our society, sad to say, but true. And anyone who once was > that > > child or who grows up to be the survivor of said sexual abuse is FAR more > > likely to suffer urges to REPEAT or REMEMBER (possibly OBSESSIVELY) > his/her > > earliest sexual encounters. > Yes, in the general population of survivors. > > Contrary to popular U.S. Government/Societal expression MOST children > > experience some sort of sexual experience LONG before age 18, and also > LONG > > before the arbitrary state-mandated age of 14-16 for sexual interaction > > between teenage minors. > I don’t think you state this clearly enough. I would say few children are > exposed to actual abuse, while many children DO have sexual contact with > others of close age consentually before they are of legal age. I don’t see > how so many children could have been abused, I don’t think it’s a "common" > practice in our country. In Greece, I believe it’s almost acceptable. I > still can’t understand why. > > I personally believe that a LOT of boys and girls have experienced > > substantial sexual stimulation, either from the same or opposite sex, even > > prior to, or not long after, the onset of puberty. > Yes, with other children of similar ages maybe. But I wouldn’t say A LOT of > them are abused. I think that’s what you’re saying but again it’s not too > clear. > > If that assumption is true, then there are a LOT of adults who REMEMBER > the > > "thrill" (for BETTER or WORSE) they received during their earliest sexual > > experiences, generally with older children or adults. > One of my osessions is that I was abused, possibly sexually. Although I > never have had any recollection of this whatsoever. Because I have the HOCD > I tend to think that my obsessions are caused by some traumatic childhood > event that I’m burying deep in my subconcious. But there’s nothing there. > Many experts have said that it is quite common for ALL people to have such > worries, especially when they are depressed or anxious or OC and they take a > visit to the wrong type of therapist. The Psychodynamic theories and those > who practice them will have that effect on people. Ever wonder why people > stay in these therapy sessions for years at a time? Cause it’s a business > built on "uncovering" the "memories" that have subconciouly robbed you of > happiness, joy, calmness and sexual gratification. It takes "time" to > uncover these memories. And it takes money, too. Many of these people who > visit Dr. $$$$ try, with the doctor’s urging, to find these memories but > will inevitably find something that was never there. It’s called "False > Memory Syndrome" and it’s very prevalent. It’s too bad that these people > (especially those with OCD) are set so far back by these so-called > therpists, when they could overcome the thoughts and obsessions with simple > exposure therapy. > > Therefore, while very disturbing, it is not so SURPRISING to discover > > "pillars of society" caught up in a CHILD PORNOGRAPHY STING. As sad as it > > is, MANY children grow up with these memories, and want to or not, they > may > > become obsessed by the sad repercussions of child pornography. > I don’t think being obsessed with child pornography has anything to do with > OCD. I do believe there is a link between being sexually abused and > committing sexual abuse when older. However, this has nothing to do with > OCD as a disorder. An example of OCD would be the "fear of" doing something > that would harm a child (sexually or not), while never actually committing > this act. In fact it’s such a scary thought and so far out of the realm of > possibility for the OC individual that it creates intense anxiety and since > a brain disorder is present, a loop of obsessions about a thought that 90% > of people get. The difference being Non-OC individuals don’t pay a second > thought to the original thought. It’s more a phobia type situation then an > "obsession" in the needing sense. On the contrary, sexual abusers find an > "urge" to expose themselves to situations and materials of this type to fill > a "desire" or "need". It’s a big difference, and the one thing that keeps > OCDers from truly overcoming these obsessions. Many sexual offenders see > the child as deserving of the abuse, but can’t understand why that is. > OCDers don’t see a child as a sexual object, they see him/her as a source of > anxiety over a worry that will never come true. > > It is SAD that such a thing perpetuates itself, because child sexual abuse > > has vicious repercussions within a society where it is treated as a scorn > > worse than the most vile disease, yet, paradoxically, is participated in > by > > people of ALL walks of life and ALL levels of SOCIAL, RELIGIOUS and > > POLITICAL beliefs. > > In some way we, as a "Western" society, must learn to EDUCATE those who > MAY > > or DO abuse children so that their TARGETS do not grow up to be either > > FUTURE ABUSERS or VICTIMS of their abusers. > We as a "world" need to do this. This kind of behavior should not be > tolerated in ANY culture. I am all for castration in these perpetuators, > although I’m not so sure it will stop them. I don’t think it’s a sexual > thing to them as much as it is a power thing. I would say the death penalty > is the only means of dealing with perpetrators of this type. > > Teach ALL children, from the earliest point society can agree upon, to > > regard their bodies as their OWN HOLY TEMPLES (regardless of religion), so > > they might learn what is GOOD TOUCH and BAD TOUCH, as well as what is > COMMON > > touch, and necessary for all to survive and grow in love. > From adults, yes. I think sexual exploration between two children is a > natural thing, because they are learning about their bodies together. It’s > a natural act that almost all mammals participate in. You can’t keep > children from healthy exploration. > > Religion/Church is, and almost always has been, a strongly male-dominated > > organization, leaving the clergy in control of nearly all opinions, > > religious or secular. By virtually BANNING sexuality outside the doors of > > the Monastery, and ‘claiming’ to ban it within the Monastery, they took > > control of virtually all aspects of society a long time ago. It is only > NOW, > > and I mean almost TO THIS VERY DAY, that the Church has had so much power > > and allowed its internal members to Practice, NOT as the PREACH, but as > they > > FEEL, and those FEELINGS probably arose from being sexually abused as > > children within the Church. > I don’t see how being banned from sexual activities has anything to do with > feeling the need to sexually abuse children. I do agree, however, that this > has been going on for a LONG time. It makes me sick. > > The Catholic Church is at great peril now that this nasty reality is being > > rapidly uncovered, and I must agree that the insistence on celibacy of > > priests and nuns, begun in the middle-ages, has led to the intensity of > this > > problem within the church over time. There are almost certainly a VAST > > number of cases of sexual abuse within the Church prior to the present > > expose. > Again, if you can’t have sex with another adult, why does that mean you turn > to a child? Again, I don’t believe it’s a sexual thing to these > perpetrators. There’s probably a lot more going on than sexual feelings > toward a child. > > In the "Old Days" EVERYONE had to conform to what the Church had to say or > > else they were EX-COMMUNICATED, and in most cases that meant they lost > their > > livelihoods and lives. > I agree with your mistrust of the Catholic Church to an extent, but I still > don’t see how any of this has to do
… read more »
Response:
"Phlapjak" <chimera.re…@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:l6Vl8.17581$9F2.17042@nwrddc02.gnilink.net… > I believe that children who are substantially (and often even minimally) > sexually abused BEFORE or NEAR/POST the dawn of puberty (both sexes) are > ABUNDANT in our society, sad to say, but true. And anyone who once was that > child or who grows up to be the survivor of said sexual abuse is FAR more > likely to suffer urges to REPEAT or REMEMBER (possibly OBSESSIVELY) his/her > earliest sexual encounters.
Yes, in the general population of survivors. > Contrary to popular U.S. Government/Societal expression MOST children > experience some sort of sexual experience LONG before age 18, and also LONG > before the arbitrary state-mandated age of 14-16 for sexual interaction > between teenage minors.
I don’t think you state this clearly enough. I would say few children are exposed to actual abuse, while many children DO have sexual contact with others of close age consentually before they are of legal age. I don’t see how so many children could have been abused, I don’t think it’s a "common" practice in our country. In Greece, I believe it’s almost acceptable. I still can’t understand why. > I personally believe that a LOT of boys and girls have experienced > substantial sexual stimulation, either from the same or opposite sex, even > prior to, or not long after, the onset of puberty.
Yes, with other children of similar ages maybe. But I wouldn’t say A LOT of them are abused. I think that’s what you’re saying but again it’s not too clear. > If that assumption is true, then there are a LOT of adults who REMEMBER the > "thrill" (for BETTER or WORSE) they received during their earliest sexual > experiences, generally with older children or adults.
One of my osessions is that I was abused, possibly sexually. Although I never have had any recollection of this whatsoever. Because I have the HOCD I tend to think that my obsessions are caused by some traumatic childhood event that I’m burying deep in my subconcious. But there’s nothing there. Many experts have said that it is quite common for ALL people to have such worries, especially when they are depressed or anxious or OC and they take a visit to the wrong type of therapist. The Psychodynamic theories and those who practice them will have that effect on people. Ever wonder why people stay in these therapy sessions for years at a time? Cause it’s a business built on "uncovering" the "memories" that have subconciouly robbed you of happiness, joy, calmness and sexual gratification. It takes "time" to uncover these memories. And it takes money, too. Many of these people who visit Dr. $$$$ try, with the doctor’s urging, to find these memories but will inevitably find something that was never there. It’s called "False Memory Syndrome" and it’s very prevalent. It’s too bad that these people (especially those with OCD) are set so far back by these so-called therpists, when they could overcome the thoughts and obsessions with simple exposure therapy. > Therefore, while very disturbing, it is not so SURPRISING to discover > "pillars of society" caught up in a CHILD PORNOGRAPHY STING. As sad as it > is, MANY children grow up with these memories, and want to or not, they may > become obsessed by the sad repercussions of child pornography.
I don’t think being obsessed with child pornography has anything to do with OCD. I do believe there is a link between being sexually abused and committing sexual abuse when older. However, this has nothing to do with OCD as a disorder. An example of OCD would be the "fear of" doing something that would harm a child (sexually or not), while never actually committing this act. In fact it’s such a scary thought and so far out of the realm of possibility for the OC individual that it creates intense anxiety and since a brain disorder is present, a loop of obsessions about a thought that 90% of people get. The difference being Non-OC individuals don’t pay a second thought to the original thought. It’s more a phobia type situation then an "obsession" in the needing sense. On the contrary, sexual abusers find an "urge" to expose themselves to situations and materials of this type to fill a "desire" or "need". It’s a big difference, and the one thing that keeps OCDers from truly overcoming these obsessions. Many sexual offenders see the child as deserving of the abuse, but can’t understand why that is. OCDers don’t see a child as a sexual object, they see him/her as a source of anxiety over a worry that will never come true. > It is SAD that such a thing perpetuates itself, because child sexual abuse > has vicious repercussions within a society where it is treated as a scorn > worse than the most vile disease, yet, paradoxically, is participated in by > people of ALL walks of life and ALL levels of SOCIAL, RELIGIOUS and > POLITICAL beliefs. > In some way we, as a "Western" society, must learn to EDUCATE those who MAY > or DO abuse children so that their TARGETS do not grow up to be either > FUTURE ABUSERS or VICTIMS of their abusers.
We as a "world" need to do this. This kind of behavior should not be tolerated in ANY culture. I am all for castration in these perpetuators, although I’m not so sure it will stop them. I don’t think it’s a sexual thing to them as much as it is a power thing. I would say the death penalty is the only means of dealing with perpetrators of this type. > Teach ALL children, from the earliest point society can agree upon, to > regard their bodies as their OWN HOLY TEMPLES (regardless of religion), so > they might learn what is GOOD TOUCH and BAD TOUCH, as well as what is COMMON > touch, and necessary for all to survive and grow in love.
From adults, yes. I think sexual exploration between two children is a natural thing, because they are learning about their bodies together. It’s a natural act that almost all mammals participate in. You can’t keep children from healthy exploration. > Religion/Church is, and almost always has been, a strongly male-dominated > organization, leaving the clergy in control of nearly all opinions, > religious or secular. By virtually BANNING sexuality outside the doors of > the Monastery, and ‘claiming’ to ban it within the Monastery, they took > control of virtually all aspects of society a long time ago. It is only NOW, > and I mean almost TO THIS VERY DAY, that the Church has had so much power > and allowed its internal members to Practice, NOT as the PREACH, but as they > FEEL, and those FEELINGS probably arose from being sexually abused as > children within the Church.
I don’t see how being banned from sexual activities has anything to do with feeling the need to sexually abuse children. I do agree, however, that this has been going on for a LONG time. It makes me sick. > The Catholic Church is at great peril now that this nasty reality is being > rapidly uncovered, and I must agree that the insistence on celibacy of > priests and nuns, begun in the middle-ages, has led to the intensity of this > problem within the church over time. There are almost certainly a VAST > number of cases of sexual abuse within the Church prior to the present > expose.
Again, if you can’t have sex with another adult, why does that mean you turn to a child? Again, I don’t believe it’s a sexual thing to these perpetrators. There’s probably a lot more going on than sexual feelings toward a child. > In the "Old Days" EVERYONE had to conform to what the Church had to say or > else they were EX-COMMUNICATED, and in most cases that meant they lost their > livelihoods and lives.
I agree with your mistrust of the Catholic Church to an extent, but I still don’t see how any of this has to do with OCD. > Child sexual abuse MUST be UNDERSTOOD before there is ANY CHANCE of > ABOLISHING it.
To me, there’s nothing to understand. If you do it, you fry. There’s no reason to keep these people alive. There has never been any proof that they are even treatable. Children need to be educated on what to do in these situations. But we should be minimizing those situations before they even happen.
Response:
I believe that children who are substantially (and often even minimally) sexually abused BEFORE or NEAR/POST the dawn of puberty (both sexes) are ABUNDANT in our society, sad to say, but true. And anyone who once was that child or who grows up to be the survivor of said sexual abuse is FAR more likely to suffer urges to REPEAT or REMEMBER (possibly OBSESSIVELY) his/her earliest sexual encounters. Contrary to popular U.S. Government/Societal expression MOST children experience some sort of sexual experience LONG before age 18, and also LONG before the arbitrary state-mandated age of 14-16 for sexual interaction between teenage minors. I personally believe that a LOT of boys and girls have experienced substantial sexual stimulation, either from the same or opposite sex, even prior to, or not long after, the onset of puberty. If that assumption is true, then there are a LOT of adults who REMEMBER the "thrill" (for BETTER or WORSE) they received during their earliest sexual experiences, generally with older children or adults. Therefore, while very disturbing, it is not so SURPRISING to discover "pillars of society" caught up in a CHILD PORNOGRAPHY STING. As sad as it is, MANY children grow up with these memories, and want to or not, they may become obsessed by the sad repercussions of child pornography. It is SAD that such a thing perpetuates itself, because child sexual abuse has vicious repercussions within a society where it is treated as a scorn worse than the most vile disease, yet, paradoxically, is participated in by people of ALL walks of life and ALL levels of SOCIAL, RELIGIOUS and POLITICAL beliefs. In some way we, as a "Western" society, must learn to EDUCATE those who MAY or DO abuse children so that their TARGETS do not grow up to be either FUTURE ABUSERS or VICTIMS of their abusers. Teach ALL children, from the earliest point society can agree upon, to regard their bodies as their OWN HOLY TEMPLES (regardless of religion), so they might learn what is GOOD TOUCH and BAD TOUCH, as well as what is COMMON touch, and necessary for all to survive and grow in love. Religion/Church is, and almost always has been, a strongly male-dominated organization, leaving the clergy in control of nearly all opinions, religious or secular. By virtually BANNING sexuality outside the doors of the Monastery, and ‘claiming’ to ban it within the Monastery, they took control of virtually all aspects of society a long time ago. It is only NOW, and I mean almost TO THIS VERY DAY, that the Church has had so much power and allowed its internal members to Practice, NOT as the PREACH, but as they FEEL, and those FEELINGS probably arose from being sexually abused as children within the Church. The Catholic Church is at great peril now that this nasty reality is being rapidly uncovered, and I must agree that the insistence on celibacy of priests and nuns, begun in the middle-ages, has led to the intensity of this problem within the church over time. There are almost certainly a VAST number of cases of sexual abuse within the Church prior to the present expose. In the "Old Days" EVERYONE had to conform to what the Church had to say or else they were EX-COMMUNICATED, and in most cases that meant they lost their livelihoods and lives. Just watch how the Church tries to slither out of this mess, accused by its own believers, rather than "all who oppose them". Child sexual abuse MUST be UNDERSTOOD before there is ANY CHANCE of ABOLISHING it.
Response:
Posted in Post Traumatic Disorder | 
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…. RM My ex was bipolar, but I never knew the complete diagnosis. Perhaps it was bipolar with chronic stupidity disorder. Carol Just curious about how many of you gentle readers were married to a person with a bipolar disorder and if you were, the complete diagnosis. My ex-wife was bipolar II with narcissistic personality disorder and would not take her meds. 
welcome back, donna — ~i’m so popular ’round here i’ve forgotten my own name~ ASD Birthday Pages<http://www.geocities.com/asdbday/ April Love Pages <http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Booth/9337/ message t… : : t… : I’ve been doing some thinking… Alright, look, I know that *I’m* the one : that brought up the subject about the lsd. But the fact is, I’m depressed, : VERY depressed. I was thinking back, and there was a period of one year : when : I had to take cortico streriods (prednisone) for a serious disease that I : have, during that period the steroids had a profound psychological effect : on : me that almost completly alievated my depression *and* my PTSS, and I was : able to function like never before, but it’s not a medication you can take : long term because it screws up your body in tons of ways, it is a drug of : last resort when nothing else works, and if you remain on it – you die. : But, : anyway, I’m going off on a tangent. The point is that when my depression : was : gone I completely stopped thinking about any effects I had gotten from the : lsd, or about anything else. I’ve been thinking, and, a lot of the reasons : I : focus so heavily on that (among other things) is because of my depression, : and maybe also a little because of my OCD. The bottom line is this… I : have : *a lot* of mental problems that have been diagnosed, and re-diagnosed, and : re-diagnosed yet again that are unarguably of *no fault* of mine. They : include a severe case of major and/or clinical depression (which is a : fault : of biology, not of my own), anxiety disorder (which is a result of biology : and/or stressors which occured in my life that I had no control over), OCD : (which is a fault of biology, not of my own), social phobia (which is a : result of biology and/or stressors which I had no control over), ADD : (which : was a fault of biology, not of my own) and PTSS -post traumatic stress : syndrome- (which was caused by traumas and/or a *particular* trauma which : was no fault of my own). I’m not bringing up hppd anymore, because it : doesn’t : matter, It’s beside the main issues. The basic fact is, I’m depressed!!! : VERY fucking depressed! And I’ve a ton of mental heath issues, and *thats* : what’s wrong with me. Period. End of subject. I feel so free now… : : Jay : : : : : I’m not sure if this is true, actually. It just hurts to think that some : will say that I somehow don’t deserve any sympathy for what I’m going : through. And that I somehow deserve to suffer… I have hppd, and I also : have a multitude of other problems, whether these other problems are : separate, or all stem from the hppd, I can’t say, all I know is it’s not any : fun. hppd is just the one giving me the most distress… I don’t think I : deserve this for being young, for making a childhood mistake, and I don’t : think I should be exempt from any kind of compassion. : : : 