Question:
Thank you Lady J for the kind words. Jeff’s feelings are just all to familiar to me. I just had to write him and let him know he’s not alone. Doreen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -LadyJ3 wrote: > Doreen, it is so sweet and caring of you, to reach out of your own emotional pain to help Jeff feel > welcome here and cared about it. It’s people like yourself, that make this group a place for people to > feel comfortable talking about what’s on their minds. I’m so glad you found us. We are lucky to have > you with us. : ) J
Response:
Unfortunately, Tim, Lonliness isn’t a "place", so that we can say, "I don’t think I’ll go there, today." It’s a state of mind that we carry with us wherever we go or stay. Hopefully, we can figure out how to make it go away. Hugs, J. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Tim wrote: > In the Year of Our Lord 3 May 1998 09:03:00 -0500, J…@Smith.com (John) didst > speak thustly: > > What helped a lot when I felt devastated over a girl one time > >was a trip to Hawaii. I was in a manic state and just took off! It > >helped me a lot in the long run. It made it easier for me to move to > >Hawaii later on. If I would have stayed in LA – I dont know what Id be > >doing now. I would probably be in an asylum. > I think that if I lived in LA for any length of time, I would probally wind up > in an asylum myself. Hell, I can’t even handle New Orleans! > I know what you mean about a general sense of dread when you view America’s > urban sprawl. It’s a very lonely world that we have built. > Someone recently posted about the loneliness of NYC. I once visited New York, > and yes, it’s incredible when you consider how much there is to do, and let the > sheer size of the place overwhelm you. But you also get a feeling that damn, > this is one lonely place. At least that’s the way I felt. > I’ve never been to LA, but I can imagine it’s about the same as NYC. Hell, > probally worse. From what I gather, their seems to be some fake "plastic" > culture there that I imagine would be nerve racking. You know, the kind of > people who worship money, power, and plastic surgery. God, living in that town > would probally drive me to suicide. > I think I better stick with Southern Louisiana. We may not have much down here, > but at least the people are real. The kind of folks you can have an honest > conversation with. It’s lonely here too, but I imagine that it’s not as bad as > the rest of the country. > Tim > twevlest…@lycosmail.com > "640K ought to be enough for anybody" > -Bill Gates, 1981 > "Computers in the future may only weigh 1 1/2 tons." > -Popular Mechanics, March 1949
Response:
Doreen, it is so sweet and caring of you, to reach out of your own emotional pain to help Jeff feel welcome here and cared about it. It’s people like yourself, that make this group a place for people to feel comfortable talking about what’s on their minds. I’m so glad you found us. We are lucky to have you with us. : ) J – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Doreen wrote: > Jeff, > I can really relate to your sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness. I > have felt the same way every day for the past 2.5 months. You have > every right to feel the way you do. Who cares if this stuff happens to > other people all the time. It still sucks. > You said that you don’t share yourself with others because you feel like > you are inflicting something not nice on them. I say don’t worry about > it. You will come across people that don’t want to hear it. That is > fine. Just don’t share those things with them. Just look for others to > share with. There are lots of people that want to listen. I have only > been on this newsgroup for a couple of days, but I believe the people > here want to listen to you. I know that I want to hear what you have to > say. In the past 2.5 months I have talked to many people and I have > figured out which ones want to listen and which ones don’t. Don’t be > discouraged by people that don’t want to listen. We all need to be > heard, especially at times like this. > I don’t have any experience with anti-depressants. In general, I don’t > think I’m depressed. I just have extreme emotional difficulties. But, > I do believe I know what it is like to be depressed. The first week > after my marriage ended I was so depressed that I could hardly eat. I > lost 6 pounds that week. So, I know it must be hard. Just hang in > there. > Doreen
Response:
In the Year of Our Lord 3 May 1998 09:03:00 -0500, J…@Smith.com (John) didst speak thustly: > What helped a lot when I felt devastated over a girl one time >was a trip to Hawaii. I was in a manic state and just took off! It >helped me a lot in the long run. It made it easier for me to move to >Hawaii later on. If I would have stayed in LA – I dont know what Id be >doing now. I would probably be in an asylum.
I think that if I lived in LA for any length of time, I would probally wind up in an asylum myself. Hell, I can’t even handle New Orleans! I know what you mean about a general sense of dread when you view America’s urban sprawl. It’s a very lonely world that we have built. Someone recently posted about the loneliness of NYC. I once visited New York, and yes, it’s incredible when you consider how much there is to do, and let the sheer size of the place overwhelm you. But you also get a feeling that damn, this is one lonely place. At least that’s the way I felt. I’ve never been to LA, but I can imagine it’s about the same as NYC. Hell, probally worse. From what I gather, their seems to be some fake "plastic" culture there that I imagine would be nerve racking. You know, the kind of people who worship money, power, and plastic surgery. God, living in that town would probally drive me to suicide. I think I better stick with Southern Louisiana. We may not have much down here, but at least the people are real. The kind of folks you can have an honest conversation with. It’s lonely here too, but I imagine that it’s not as bad as the rest of the country. Tim twevlest…@lycosmail.com "640K ought to be enough for anybody" -Bill Gates, 1981 "Computers in the future may only weigh 1 1/2 tons." -Popular Mechanics, March 1949
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jeff Jones wrote: > I sit here, computer in hand, feeling a sense of gratitude and relief that I’m > not alone. I’ve fought depression, looking back, for 30+ years. Each bout has > been worse than the last and each heightens the feelings of loneliness. In > reading an article on depression I found on the Internet, I found the > following: > <snip of excellent information> > . I really need to find my own wonderful self, accept who I am, and learn how to > openly share. The rub is > that, for example, many years ago, in a prayer I opened upsand made a request > aloud that was used by my ex-wife as an excuse to leave me. Sigh, learned to > pray silently after that. It’s not only the "what’s inside me" but the sharing > that nervouses me. > Thank you all. Now, to allow healing to leap into action. > Jeff
For some of us, Jeff, the "sharing" is hard. Sometimes, it takes time and the right "triggers" to make us do it, and even then, it feels like it’s being torn from our hearts and souls, word by word. Giving us a sense of vulnerability that is scary and a desire to wish we could call the words back and lock them in again. That is especially so, when our words have been used to harm us. Take your time. I can’t promise you that no one here will ever use your words against you, but I can promise you that many will come to your aid, should that ever occur. And that we will listen and comfort and care. And I can tell you true, the sharing needs to be done. J
Response:
I sit here, computer in hand, feeling a sense of gratitude and relief that I’m not alone. I’ve fought depression, looking back, for 30+ years. Each bout has been worse than the last and each heightens the feelings of loneliness. In reading an article on depression I found on the Internet, I found the following: "Depressed persons will typically encounter four pieces of advice: socialize, be active, do something enjoyable, and think positively. This advice is easy to follow if you’re not depressed! Depression entails a desire to withdraw, a lack of energy, and the diminished capacity for pleasure. It also causes us to overlook the positive and focus on the negative. Plainly, depression may feed on itself. Isolation, inactivity, lack of enjoyment, and negative thinking spiral." The article went on to explain that folks who are not depressed can be alienated by those who are who share their thoughts. That happened to me many times. I am trying to not alienate folks this time so that I don’t cut the lifeline I need to heal. John, my immediate feeling were of being judged. I constantly wrestle with folks who judge me rather than reflect on statements made. Upon second read, it’s OK and your comment about exercise lent corroboration to one thing I’m trying to do. LadyJ3, thank you for your words. I do need to rest and find and accept "Jeff." For 30+ years I’ve felt alone, unloved, and generally wrong. Pretty pitiful, not true but that’s the way I feel today. :-}) I am finally ready to accept help. The opening up, the vulnerability in doing so, and the risk associated with opening up my very own self is very hard. Thank you for realizing that. Maria, Thank you for pointing out that I’ve already begun to heal. You are correct, it doesn’t feel like it but I need to hear that I’m doing the right things and that, from people who understand, this too shall pass. This time, however, it’s passing like a kidney stone rather than ships in the night. Michael, I appreciate your "not a doctor advice." I quit the sleeping pills and found out that I was taking, on doctor’s advice, 4xs the amount of Paxil that I should. I still feel a bit drugged but not as much. I will take your advice and keep my doctor informed. Gina, thank you. I really need someone who will listen without judging me or turning away, leaving me alone. I will try to look forward, but at this time the backward thoughts and events permeate my mind. Thank you for listening, it’s been a missing ingredient in my life. Doreen, thank you for sharing your thoughts. This time, I won’t give up seeking someone who will listen to my cries of help. I really need to find my own wonderful self, accept who I am, and learn how to openly share. The rub is that, for example, many years ago, in a prayer I opened upsand made a request aloud that was used by my ex-wife as an excuse to leave me. Sigh, learned to pray silently after that. It’s not only the "what’s inside me" but the sharing that nervouses me. Thank you all. Now, to allow healing to leap into action. Jeff
Response:
Dear Jeff: I am an old friend to "depression" and before I started therapy, was just wanting the world to stop and let me off. I take Prozac for the depression and it works very well for me. I think probably about 50% of the population is on either Prozac or Paxil, which are both closely related to each other. I’m not a doctor, so I TRY not to practice medicine, but I would say the sleeping pill caused your "drugged, shaky" feeling. They are famous for doing that….and I have had some that even caused horrible nightmares, so, I no longer take an aid for sleeping. I’ve found that if I can’t sleep for a few nights, then sooner or later the body screams "enough" and the brain will eventually allow sleep. I have found that "time" takes care of many problems…although I am an impatient person. The loss of a relationship is a traumatic event and does take its toll. You just look forward and not backward…and with time, you’ll see the improvement. Maybe the therapy will help you put things in perspective and will aid you in turning loose of this failed relationship and any other things that need to be modified in your life. I have found that just talking, sometimes makes a light come on in my head and something that was very distressful or confusing is seen in a different aspect. Just hang in there until the Paxil kicks in. If the sleeping pills continue to give you that "drugged" feeling, check with your doctor. I sound like a commercial, don’t I ? :-) While you’re getting better…just know that you have friends here and I’m thinking of you and wishing you much happiness….it’s there and you’ll find it. And…any time you need to talk, I’m listening. Your friend, Gina – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am being treated for >depression. Looking on the Internet, I found out that depression is a >disease. It’s a chemical >disorder in the brain that affects the whole body. He prescribed sleeping >pills and an >antidepressant. > I started with the antidepressant and took a sleeping pill last night. I >slept. This >morning I really feel shaky and drugged. I sure hope it’s the sleeping pill >and not the >antidepressant. If it was the antidepressant, it would certainly be >depressing because I really >*HATE* that shaky, drugged feeling. > All this wonderfulness has been months if not years occurring. This past >weekend just >brought a number of issues to a head and I went over the edge. I lost not >only a life-partner >but the most wonderful lover I ever had. The sense of loss, emptiness, and >loneliness is >tremendous. The feeling that these feelings will never go away is very >strong. Thinking of the >whole thing, I wonder why I should presume to be upset because things like >this happen to people >all the time. The depression, or chemical imbalance, just exacerbated things >so that they were >out of proportion. Then from another perspective, even though my little >problems are absolutely >nothing when those of others are considered, they are still my problems and >hurt me deeply. > Today, Thursday, at 9:45 I have an appointment with a counselor to try to >figure out how >to understand my own self so that I can get over this and do better next >time. This nervouses me >a lot. I very rarely analyze myself. I generally don’t like what I see. >Probably that’s why I >don’t share myself very well with others, feeling that to do so is to inflict >something not so >nice on them. I wonder why I feel that. We’ll see. > Maybe some of you have some ideas to help me until the depressingly >filled-with-side-affects Paxil begins to work so that between it and the >therapy I expect to >attend I can begin to heal. >Jeff >Subject: Alone? >Path: >lobby01.news.aol.com!newstf02.news.aol.com!portc03.blue.aol.com!news-out.
internetmci.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!4.1.16.34!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet .com!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!prodigy.com!prodigy.co m!not-for-mail >From: jeffj…@kendaco.telebyte.net (Jeff Jones) >Newsgroups: alt.support.loneliness >Date: 2 May 1998 13:44:50 GMT >Organization: Prodigy Services Corp >Lines: 37 >Message-ID: <6if80i$48l…@newssvr04-int.news.prodigy.com> >NNTP-Posting-Host: 204.237.203.52 >Mime-Version: 1.0 >Content-Type: Text/Plain; charset=US-ASCII >X-Post-Time: 2 May 1998 13:44:50 GMT >X-Auth-User: 002426804/fd8512ce2aa26fe8 >X-Problems-To: ab…@prodigy.net >X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.99.7 ></PRE></HTML>
So never judge a book by its cover Or who you’re gonna love by your lover….
Response:
Jeff, I can really relate to your sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness. I have felt the same way every day for the past 2.5 months. You have every right to feel the way you do. Who cares if this stuff happens to other people all the time. It still sucks. You said that you don’t share yourself with others because you feel like you are inflicting something not nice on them. I say don’t worry about it. You will come across people that don’t want to hear it. That is fine. Just don’t share those things with them. Just look for others to share with. There are lots of people that want to listen. I have only been on this newsgroup for a couple of days, but I believe the people here want to listen to you. I know that I want to hear what you have to say. In the past 2.5 months I have talked to many people and I have figured out which ones want to listen and which ones don’t. Don’t be discouraged by people that don’t want to listen. We all need to be heard, especially at times like this. I don’t have any experience with anti-depressants. In general, I don’t think I’m depressed. I just have extreme emotional difficulties. But, I do believe I know what it is like to be depressed. The first week after my marriage ended I was so depressed that I could hardly eat. I lost 6 pounds that week. So, I know it must be hard. Just hang in there. Doreen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jeff Jones wrote: > To set context. I went to the doctor yesterday (Wednesday). The focus was on my head > more so than on my feet or lungs, although we did touch on the physical a bit with explanation of > why orthotics work and lung x-rays and breath test. > I spewed forth my feelings, amidst tears. It was tough and was the first time I *EVER* > spoke of anything but the physical to a doctor. He listened well. I am being treated for > depression. Looking on the Internet, I found out that depression is a disease. It’s a chemical > disorder in the brain that affects the whole body. He prescribed sleeping pills and an > antidepressant. > I started with the antidepressant and took a sleeping pill last night. I slept. This > morning I really feel shaky and drugged. I sure hope it’s the sleeping pill and not the > antidepressant. If it was the antidepressant, it would certainly be depressing because I really > *HATE* that shaky, drugged feeling. > All this wonderfulness has been months if not years occurring. This past weekend just > brought a number of issues to a head and I went over the edge. I lost not only a life-partner > but the most wonderful lover I ever had. The sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness is > tremendous. The feeling that these feelings will never go away is very strong. Thinking of the > whole thing, I wonder why I should presume to be upset because things like this happen to people > all the time. The depression, or chemical imbalance, just exacerbated things so that they were > out of proportion. Then from another perspective, even though my little problems are absolutely > nothing when those of others are considered, they are still my problems and hurt me deeply. > Today, Thursday, at 9:45 I have an appointment with a counselor to try to figure out how > to understand my own self so that I can get over this and do better next time. This nervouses me > a lot. I very rarely analyze myself. I generally don’t like what I see. Probably that’s why I > don’t share myself very well with others, feeling that to do so is to inflict something not so > nice on them. I wonder why I feel that. We’ll see. > Maybe some of you have some ideas to help me until the depressingly > filled-with-side-affects Paxil begins to work so that between it and the therapy I expect to > attend I can begin to heal. > Jeff
Response:
Jeff Jones wrote: >"….. I lost not only a life-partner but the most wonderful lover I ever had. >The sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness is tremendous. The feeling that >these feelings will never go away is very strong. Thinking of the whole thing, I >wonder why I should presume to be upset because things like this happen to people >all the time. The depression, or chemical imbalance, just exacerbated things so >that they were out of proportion. Then from another perspective, even though my >little problems are absolutely > nothing when those of others are considered, they are still my problems and hurt >me deeply. …….Maybe some of you have some ideas to help me until the >depressingly filled-with-side-affects Paxil begins to work so that between it and >the therapy I expect to attend I can begin to heal."
Dear Jeff, Speaking from my own experience, you have already begun to heal — even though you probably don’t feel like you have. I, too, lost my life partner and lover after 24 years of wedded bliss, and if I hadn’t reached out to people and talked about my feelings, I don’t think I would be here today. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding your loss, but whether it is due to death or divorce, the loss can be so debilitating that your sense of self loses its balance and nothing seems important enough to go on. Recognizing your depression (and it is not just physiological, it is also situational!), seeking advice from your physician, and talking to others in a group like this are all necessary steps to recovery. I know that you are going to be all right, Jeff. Keep the faith. Big, supportive hugs to ya Maria "Well, I’ve been down so Goddamn long That it looks like up to me." - Jim Morrison
Response:
You just took one of the most difficult steps, Jeff. You’re right, depression is a disease, and it can be life threatening if left untreated. I’m glad you talked to your doctor. There are some other good newsgroups that deal more directly with depression and drugs. My personal favorite is alt.support.depression.medication By all means, you should stick with this group, too. There are good people here. As far as drugs go, I’ve got some experience there, but I am not a doctor. One thing to think about is that most MD’s don’t have a lot of experience with antidepressant drugs, you’d be much better off dealing with a psychiatrist for antidepressant solutions. Regular MD’s tend not to be as agressive with a course of treatment using an antidepressant, whereas a psychiatrist may use a combination, or change dosages quicker. It can make a big difference. I’ve not taken Paxil, but I have taken Prozac, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin, and they all have their side effects. They also can take weeks before you notice any therapeutic benefits. Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft are all SSRI’s or Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, and to make a long story short, they help your brain to maintain a higher level of the neurotransmitter Serotonin, which can help to keep depression manageable. For in-depth information about any prescription drugs, check out this web site: http://www.rxlist.com Some side effects can go away, with time, like the shaky feeling. Others, like sexual dysfunction in men, (inability to reach orgasm), tend not to go away unless you stop taking the offending drug. All of these drugs affect people differently. For me, Zoloft was hell physically, but I felt great mentally. I switched to Wellbutrin and those nasty tremors are gone. The important thing with these drugs is to keep you doctor informed of what’s happening to you. Keep a list of even the most trivial things and take it with you. Ask lots of questions. Also, there are lots of newer sleep medications that don’t leave you groggy, like Ambien and Trazodone. Ask your doc. Don’t give up, Jeff. We’re here for you. Michael (not a doctor, but I play one on the Internet…) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jeff Jones wrote: > To set context. I went to the doctor yesterday (Wednesday). The focus was on my head > more so than on my feet or lungs, although we did touch on the physical a bit with explanation of > why orthotics work and lung x-rays and breath test. > I spewed forth my feelings, amidst tears. It was tough and was the first time I *EVER* > spoke of anything but the physical to a doctor. He listened well. I am being treated for > depression. Looking on the Internet, I found out that depression is a disease. It’s a chemical > disorder in the brain that affects the whole body. He prescribed sleeping pills and an > antidepressant. > I started with the antidepressant and took a sleeping pill last night. I slept. This > morning I really feel shaky and drugged. I sure hope it’s the sleeping pill and not the > antidepressant. If it was the antidepressant, it would certainly be depressing because I really > *HATE* that shaky, drugged feeling. > All this wonderfulness has been months if not years occurring. This past weekend just > brought a number of issues to a head and I went over the edge. I lost not only a life-partner > but the most wonderful lover I ever had. The sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness is > tremendous. The feeling that these feelings will never go away is very strong. Thinking of the > whole thing, I wonder why I should presume to be upset because things like this happen to people > all the time. The depression, or chemical imbalance, just exacerbated things so that they were > out of proportion. Then from another perspective, even though my little problems are absolutely > nothing when those of others are considered, they are still my problems and hurt me deeply. > Today, Thursday, at 9:45 I have an appointment with a counselor to try to figure out how > to understand my own self so that I can get over this and do better next time. This nervouses me > a lot. I very rarely analyze myself. I generally don’t like what I see. Probably that’s why I > don’t share myself very well with others, feeling that to do so is to inflict something not so > nice on them. I wonder why I feel that. We’ll see. > Maybe some of you have some ideas to help me until the depressingly > filled-with-side-affects Paxil begins to work so that between it and the therapy I expect to > attend I can begin to heal. > Jeff
Response:
Jeff, it must have been difficult for you to share this much with us. The medication will help. We will be here to listen, support and care whenever you have need of us. "Loss, emptiness, loneliness" are terribly strong emotions and the feelings don’t just go away quickly. Little by little, they fade and as others fill our lives, their space is taken by giving, fulfullment and sharing. Not right, now. Not until you’re ready again. Until you’ve healed some. But, those new feelings will be waiting for you and we will stay with you as long as you need until you are ready for them. You’ve been "fighting", hurting, searching for answers. Time to rest a bit, Jeff. Find some things you enjoy and give them to yourself. Learn how to accept "Jeff". Nourish yourself. Stay with us a while……….J – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jeff Jones wrote: > To set context. I went to the doctor yesterday (Wednesday). The focus was on my head > more so than on my feet or lungs, although we did touch on the physical a bit with explanation of > why orthotics work and lung x-rays and breath test. > I spewed forth my feelings, amidst tears. It was tough and was the first time I *EVER* > spoke of anything but the physical to a doctor. He listened well. I am being treated for > depression. Looking on the Internet, I found out that depression is a disease. It’s a chemical > disorder in the brain that affects the whole body. He prescribed sleeping pills and an > antidepressant. > I started with the antidepressant and took a sleeping pill last night. I slept. This > morning I really feel shaky and drugged. I sure hope it’s the sleeping pill and not the > antidepressant. If it was the antidepressant, it would certainly be depressing because I really > *HATE* that shaky, drugged feeling. > All this wonderfulness has been months if not years occurring. This past weekend just > brought a number of issues to a head and I went over the edge. I lost not only a life-partner > but the most wonderful lover I ever had. The sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness is > tremendous. The feeling that these feelings will never go away is very strong. Thinking of the > whole thing, I wonder why I should presume to be upset because things like this happen to people > all the time. The depression, or chemical imbalance, just exacerbated things so that they were > out of proportion. Then from another perspective, even though my little problems are absolutely > nothing when those of others are considered, they are still my problems and hurt me deeply. > Today, Thursday, at 9:45 I have an appointment with a counselor to try to figure out how > to understand my own self so that I can get over this and do better next time. This nervouses me > a lot. I very rarely analyze myself. I generally don’t like what I see. Probably that’s why I > don’t share myself very well with others, feeling that to do so is to inflict something not so > nice on them. I wonder why I feel that. We’ll see. > Maybe some of you have some ideas to help me until the depressingly > filled-with-side-affects Paxil begins to work so that between it and the therapy I expect to > attend I can begin to heal. > Jeff
Response:
To set context. I went to the doctor yesterday (Wednesday). The focus was on my head more so than on my feet or lungs, although we did touch on the physical a bit with explanation of why orthotics work and lung x-rays and breath test. I spewed forth my feelings, amidst tears. It was tough and was the first time I *EVER* spoke of anything but the physical to a doctor. He listened well. I am being treated for depression. Looking on the Internet, I found out that depression is a disease. It’s a chemical disorder in the brain that affects the whole body. He prescribed sleeping pills and an antidepressant. I started with the antidepressant and took a sleeping pill last night. I slept. This morning I really feel shaky and drugged. I sure hope it’s the sleeping pill and not the antidepressant. If it was the antidepressant, it would certainly be depressing because I really *HATE* that shaky, drugged feeling. All this wonderfulness has been months if not years occurring. This past weekend just brought a number of issues to a head and I went over the edge. I lost not only a life-partner but the most wonderful lover I ever had. The sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness is tremendous. The feeling that these feelings will never go away is very strong. Thinking of the whole thing, I wonder why I should presume to be upset because things like this happen to people all the time. The depression, or chemical imbalance, just exacerbated things so that they were out of proportion. Then from another perspective, even though my little problems are absolutely nothing when those of others are considered, they are still my problems and hurt me deeply. Today, Thursday, at 9:45 I have an appointment with a counselor to try to figure out how to understand my own self so that I can get over this and do better next time. This nervouses me a lot. I very rarely analyze myself. I generally don’t like what I see. Probably that’s why I don’t share myself very well with others, feeling that to do so is to inflict something not so nice on them. I wonder why I feel that. We’ll see. Maybe some of you have some ideas to help me until the depressingly filled-with-side-affects Paxil begins to work so that between it and the therapy I expect to attend I can begin to heal. Jeff
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