Question:
Art. you have said everything I needed to hear. An awesome post. You truly know panic. I have been in that checkout line, panic big time. It scared me so bad because I didn’t know what my problem was. I always go to the 20 Items or less at WalMart Feeling better, Vicki
Was doing better, but far from cured. I don’t post nearly as often on this group as I did a couple months ago, which is good, because it shows that I am doing better, but tonight was horrid. I was going to with my sister to a church function, I don’t go to church, but she does, and after we were going to go clubbing. When we got to the church, this lady was going to do an exercise with the group on how to remember a person’s name easily. We were to separate into groups and perform skit to demonstrate how someone would remember their name. A little confusing I know. Anyway, I thought, okay, I’m a little anxious, but I have my sister here, and not all that many people are here, so I can probably survive this. Then the lady separated us into groups, and she put me far away from my sister, this terrified me, I had a horrible panic attack and told my sister I needed to leave, I couldn’t do this. I don’t normally chicken out of things when I have a panic attack, I normally sit through it and it goes away, but this was horrible, I can’t do anything like that, I couldn’t a year ago, and I certainly can’t now. I started tearing when I was in there with all those people, but kept it in, then when I left the building I just lost it and realized that I am far from cured, this has sent me into a depression that I haven’t felt for over two months, it’s very discouraging. My sister apparently thought I was over the worst of this anxiety thing too, and she got really pissed off at me in the car saying, "You never want to hang out with me and my friends, you always do this, I never know when to invite you places and when you will freak out, I am so pissed off." That really hurt, so I am home now, and back to how I was feeling last August when I took myself out of school for a semester. I can’t do this again, I need to get better, especially before college. And college is stressing me out so much, I have no idea what to expect, what will happen, how I will react, I am so frightened… Robin END OF ROBIN’S POST. Robin, join the club. It’s the ‘one step forward, one step back, one step forward that we all go through, some more than others of course, but that’s usually the way this disorder of ours operates. Our panic disorder never completely goes away permanently, no matter what medication we take or how many therapy sessions we go through. We just have to accept this, and not get discouraged. That lady in the church who was doing the ‘name remembering techniques’ possibly triggered your panic attack because you knew that you had to give your complete attention to what she was saying, and you knew you had to ‘perform’ in front of people. You probably did not want to do this, and you feared that you would look silly in front of people if you did not follow her instructions and not play along with the game , so to speak. You probably just wanted to relax in church, and was not in the mood to be put in groups and play along with this lady’s game. This in itself made you a little angry because you did not feel like doing it. Lets face it. You did NOT want to do this thing, but you felt forced to do it, right? I could be wrong, so don’t take what I am saying as the gospel truth. Having a panic attack, especially amongst people is a terrible feeling, and we do our best to conceal it. But we are truly suffering. You had the choice to say to your sister that you were in no mood for this ‘name learning technique’, and could have left and waited for your sister in the car. YOU DONT have to do anything that you feel you are in no mood to do. Don’t feel that you lossed Robin. A panic attack here and there does not mean that you will have one everyday. Speak to your doctor before you go back to school. And remember…you do not have to do anything if you don’t feel like doing. The next time your sister wants you to go out and you would rather stay home and watch television, then stay home. People with panic and depression disorders tend to ‘want to please everyone else’, when they actually want to be left alone. I believe that when we get angry, it releases itself with a panic attack because we did not fully express our real intentions and feelings at the moment. Repressed anger, I think, is one of the reasons we have these panic attacks. Do we ever get a panic attack when we are reading a good book? Or watching a great movie? Usually NOT, because we are doing what we want to do and we feel relaxed. When we are relaxed, its practically impossible to get a panic attack. On the other hand, when we are waiting at the supermarket checkout line, or waiting on line in the bank, we are , to some extent, angry because the line is not moving fast enough. And the result? A panic attack. People who do not have this disorder, and most people in the world don’t, would get angry waiting in a supermarket checkout line that is going slow, but they don’t get panic attacks. WE do, for reasons of some kind of chemical inbalance, and who the hell really knows why. Hence, the benzo’s and the anti-depressants come to our rescue. So don’t get discouraged. WE should be used to this damn disorder by now, but when we get a panic attack, all of our reasoning goes out the window, and thats the way it is , unfortunately. The worst thing that can happen to us is if we get a heart attack from these panic attacks. But we never do , do we!!! AT least we know that our problem is not a fatal one. Art Decco… nyc, usa
Response:
Was doing better, but far from cured. I don’t post nearly as often on this group as I did a couple months ago, which is good, because it shows that I am doing better, but tonight was horrid. I was going to with my sister to a church function, I don’t go to church, but she does, and after we were going to go clubbing. When we got to the church, this lady was going to do an exercise with the group on how to remember a person’s name easily. We were to separate into groups and perform skit to demonstrate how someone would remember their name. A little confusing I know. Anyway, I thought, okay, I’m a little anxious, but I have my sister here, and not all that many people are here, so I can probably survive this. Then the lady separated us into groups, and she put me far away from my sister, this terrified me, I had a horrible panic attack and told my sister I needed to leave, I couldn’t do this. I don’t normally chicken out of things when I have a panic attack, I normally sit through it and it goes away, but this was horrible, I can’t do anything like that, I couldn’t a year ago, and I certainly can’t now. I started tearing when I was in there with all those people, but kept it in, then when I left the building I just lost it and realized that I am far from cured, this has sent me into a depression that I haven’t felt for over two months, it’s very discouraging. My sister apparently thought I was over the worst of this anxiety thing too, and she got really pissed off at me in the car saying, "You never want to hang out with me and my friends, you always do this, I never know when to invite you places and when you will freak out, I am so pissed off." That really hurt, so I am home now, and back to how I was feeling last August when I took myself out of school for a semester. I can’t do this again, I need to get better, especially before college. And college is stressing me out so much, I have no idea what to expect, what will happen, how I will react, I am so frightened… Robin END OF ROBIN’S POST. Robin, join the club. It’s the ‘one step forward, one step back, one step forward that we all go through, some more than others of course, but that’s usually the way this disorder of ours operates. Our panic disorder never completely goes away permanently, no matter what medication we take or how many therapy sessions we go through. We just have to accept this, and not get discouraged. That lady in the church who was doing the ‘name remembering techniques’ possibly triggered your panic attack because you knew that you had to give your complete attention to what she was saying, and you knew you had to ‘perform’ in front of people. You probably did not want to do this, and you feared that you would look silly in front of people if you did not follow her instructions and not play along with the game , so to speak. You probably just wanted to relax in church, and was not in the mood to be put in groups and play along with this lady’s game. This in itself made you a little angry because you did not feel like doing it. Lets face it. You did NOT want to do this thing, but you felt forced to do it, right? I could be wrong, so don’t take what I am saying as the gospel truth. Having a panic attack, especially amongst people is a terrible feeling, and we do our best to conceal it. But we are truly suffering. You had the choice to say to your sister that you were in no mood for this ‘name learning technique’, and could have left and waited for your sister in the car. YOU DONT have to do anything that you feel you are in no mood to do. Don’t feel that you lossed Robin. A panic attack here and there does not mean that you will have one everyday. Speak to your doctor before you go back to school. And remember…you do not have to do anything if you don’t feel like doing. The next time your sister wants you to go out and you would rather stay home and watch television, then stay home. People with panic and depression disorders tend to ‘want to please everyone else’, when they actually want to be left alone. I believe that when we get angry, it releases itself with a panic attack because we did not fully express our real intentions and feelings at the moment. Repressed anger, I think, is one of the reasons we have these panic attacks. Do we ever get a panic attack when we are reading a good book? Or watching a great movie? Usually NOT, because we are doing what we want to do and we feel relaxed. When we are relaxed, its practically impossible to get a panic attack. On the other hand, when we are waiting at the supermarket checkout line, or waiting on line in the bank, we are , to some extent, angry because the line is not moving fast enough. And the result? A panic attack. People who do not have this disorder, and most people in the world don’t, would get angry waiting in a supermarket checkout line that is going slow, but they don’t get panic attacks. WE do, for reasons of some kind of chemical inbalance, and who the hell really knows why. Hence, the benzo’s and the anti-depressants come to our rescue. So don’t get discouraged. WE should be used to this damn disorder by now, but when we get a panic attack, all of our reasoning goes out the window, and thats the way it is , unfortunately. The worst thing that can happen to us is if we get a heart attack from these panic attacks. But we never do , do we!!! AT least we know that our problem is not a fatal one. Art Decco… nyc, usa
Response:
I don’t post nearly as often on this group as I did a couple months ago, which is good, because it shows that I am doing better, but tonight was horrid. I was going to with my sister to a church function, I don’t go to church, but she does, and after we were going to go clubbing. When we got to the church, this lady was going to do an exercise with the group on how to remember a person’s name easily. We were to separate into groups and perform skit to demonstrate how someone would remember their name. A little confusing I know. Anyway, I thought, okay, I’m a little anxious, but I have my sister here, and not all that many people are here, so I can probably survive this. Then the lady separated us into groups, and she put me far away from my sister, this terrified me, I had a horrible panic attack and told my sister I needed to leave, I couldn’t do this. I don’t normally chicken out of things when I have a panic attack, I normally sit through it and it goes away, but this was horrible, I can’t do anything like that, I couldn’t a year ago, and I certainly can’t now. I started tearing when I was in there with all those people, but kept it in, then when I left the building I just lost it and realized that I am far from cured, this has sent me into a depression that I haven’t felt for over two months, it’s very discouraging. My sister apparently thought I was over the worst of this anxiety thing too, and she got really pissed off at me in the car saying, "You never want to hang out with me and my friends, you always do this, I never know when to invite you places and when you will freak out, I am so pissed off." That really hurt, so I am home now, and back to how I was feeling last August when I took myself out of school for a semester. I can’t do this again, I need to get better, especially before college. And college is stressing me out so much, I have no idea what to expect, what will happen, how I will react, I am so frightened… Robin
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I don’t post nearly as often on this group as I did a couple months ago, which is good, because it shows that I am doing better, but tonight was horrid. I was going to with my sister to a church function, I don’t go to church, but she does, and after we were going to go clubbing. When we got to the church, this lady was going to do an exercise with the group on how to remember a person’s name easily. We were to separate into groups and perform skit to demonstrate how someone would remember their name. A little confusing I know. Anyway, I thought, okay, I’m a little anxious, but I have my sister here, and not all that many people are here, so I can probably survive this. Then the lady separated us into groups, and she put me far away from my sister, this terrified me, I had a horrible panic attack and told my sister I needed to leave, I couldn’t do this. I don’t normally chicken out of things when I have a panic attack, I normally sit through it and it goes away, but this was horrible, I can’t do anything like that, I couldn’t a year ago, and I certainly can’t now. I started tearing when I was in there with all those people, but kept it in, then when I left the building I just lost it and realized that I am far from cured, this has sent me into a depression that I haven’t felt for over two months, it’s very discouraging. My sister apparently thought I was over the worst of this anxiety thing too, and she got really pissed off at me in the car saying, "You never want to hang out with me and my friends, you always do this, I never know when to invite you places and when you will freak out, I am so pissed off." That really hurt, so I am home now, and back to how I was feeling last August when I took myself out of school for a semester. I can’t do this again, I need to get better, especially before college. And college is stressing me out so much, I have no idea what to expect, what will happen, how I will react, I am so frightened… Robin
Robin, You just had a set back, and your sister made it worse, just like she did when you tried to get your license. She’s not very supportive, and I wouldn’t take ANYTHING she says to heart. What you were asked to do would have freaked most of us out. Doing things in front of a group of people is very scary, I don’t blame you for your reaction. In my other post, I warned you not to let yourself get overwhelmed with the thought of college. You should have seen ME before I started back to school a couple of years ago!! I was TERRIFIED. That was before I was even diagnosed or being treated for anxiety. The thing that scared me the most was getting lost, as OSU has one of the largest campuses in the whole U.S.!! I was sure I would never find my classes, or find the right bus stop to come home on, or any number of things. First of all, go to your college’s website and read everything there is on there. That will help some, if you familiarize yourself with where you’re going, where your classes will be and what services are available, and stuff like where to eat, etc. And talk to your therapist about your fears – list them so you know exactly what it is that is worrying you about school – and then talk to your therapist and make a game plan on how to deal with each one. Don’t let one little set back seem like the end of all your dreams. You’re going to be alright, I promise — if I could do it, you can!! At least you’re not 20 years older than all of your classmates like I am! Sara ^..^< Anxiety, I can’t get nothin done Anxiety destroys all the fun – Pat Benetar
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