Question:
Hi ChattyKathi, I have no experience with panic disorder or panic attacks, but in reading your post it struck me that you would probably feel less stressed if you got some kind of support system going, be it a couple of girlfriends, a support group or a counselor. Divorce, with custody battle is something I have had experience with. Like the signals of peri-menopause, this too passes and life goes on. What does your lawyer tell you regarding the necessity for "grounds" for the divorce? Many states have done away with this, so it’s a non-argument, but a fear tactic. Good luck. Cool Runnings, HomemakerJ
Response:
Besides peri & menopause, panic disorder is associated with Mitral Valve Prolapse. I don’t, personally, see how panic disorder could be used against one! Sounds extremely unfair, to say the least, to me. A friend, who also has Mitral Valve Prolapse, has also experienced panic attacks – worse than mine have been – it is physical. Cathy ChattyKathi wrote in message
<19990619101534.26151.00001…@ng-ba1.aol.com>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->x-no-archive: yes >Hi Ladies, >This is only my second post here so I’m fairly new to all the >acronyms. >I will cut right to the chase and let you know that after 16 years I >have filed for divorce and my husband and I are in the middle of >a horrific custody battle. >The reason is quite simple IMO. A few years ago, pre age 35, I never thought I >exhibited any PMS symptoms other than a bloated tummy 
>Fast forward through the last year or so and my medical records clearly >indicate that I was having Panic attacks every month for 5 months in a row >when I was pre-menstrual. >Diagnosis, Panic Disorder, sent home with Paxil and .25 Xanax as >needed. After these meds kicked in, follow up appt’s indicated insomnia >and a small amount of breakthrough anxiety when pre-menstual. Again, sent home >with Ambien to assist in sleeping. >"I am _ONLY_ 37", she says to herself! >I _CAN’T_ be hitting menopause. >Research, Research, Research….. >Hmmmm.. Peri-menopause? What’s that? >I purchased the entire DSM-IV manual (panic disorder is deemed a >mental health issue) along with a book on Peri-menopause. >While reading the full criteria for panic disorder ( vs panic attacks), I >found it odd that I never really exhibited other signs i.e. social phobia, >agoraphobia, etc. >While I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to get my _mental health_ diagosis of >Panic Disorder changed, I do know that my husband and his lawyer are >using the grounds of "mental health disorder" in an attempt to show that >I *am* mentally unstable. My doctor knows I am fine in the respect. >I would like to appeal to any others who know exactly what I am talking >about if for no other reason than to know I am not the one who is going >through this and has possibly been prescribed similiar medications. >TIA, >Kathi in Buffalo >GO SABRES >to reply remove letters after .com
Response:
>What does >your lawyer tell you regarding the necessity for "grounds" for the divorce? >Many >states have done away with this, so it’s a non-argument, but a fear tactic. >Good >luck.
This is true. Dont let your husbands lawyers intimidate you. It may almost be considered discriminatory for them to go against you because of having a problem that is considered to be a disease…I think panic disorder can be classified as such..You may be able to turn this around in your favor. PJ
Response:
pj wrote: >What does >>your lawyer tell you regarding the necessity for "grounds" for the divorce? >>Many >>states have done away with this, so it’s a non-argument, but a fear tactic. >>Good >>luck. >This is true. Dont let your husbands lawyers intimidate you. It may almost >be >considered discriminatory for them to go against you because of having a >problem that is considered to be a disease…I think panic disorder can be >classified as such..You may be able to turn this around in your favor. > PJ
If you try that tact, please be sure you have a lawyer savy in ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) issues. Actually you may want to contact organizations who work ADA issues for advice. They may be able to help you decide how best to counter such a strategy. Wendy hypo…@aol.com
Response:
I wrote:>I would like to appeal to any others who know exactly what I am
talking about (panic disorder vs peri) if for no other reason than to know I am not the one who is going through this and has possibly been prescribed similiar medications.> Thank you to those who replied. I appreciate you taking the time to send along some comforting thoughts and words. Kathi
Response:
Hi, this must be an awful time for you. I have also been through a divorce which finally concluded 2 years ago, it took 2 years of lengthy litigation and court room battles to come to a satisfactory conclusion. English law is querky and drawn out. I had four different barristers until I found one to represent me effectively and I won the day!!! My husband went to every length to get me out of the house, he applied for custody of the two children, wanted every piece of furniture including listing each knife and fork we owned. The thing that won the case was that it was documented on both his and my medical records that he was violent and aggressive and that he use to hold me to knife point and abuse me and he was sent for councilling. He walked out on us and from that moment on never paid a penny in maintenance or mortgage for two years, it was a struggle but in court he was made to look a very sad case. It was the medical evidence on my records that also helped me to win. If your doctor knows you are fine then you are 100% there. Keep cool, calm and collected at all times even though you may be seething inside and want to explode your anger out, let him be the one to look unstable in court. I know US law is probably different but I will keep everything crossed for you, take care and good luck…………………. Denise ChattyKathi <frombuf…@aol.compulsion> wrote in message
news:19990619101534.26151.00001532@ng-ba1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> x-no-archive: yes > Hi Ladies, > This is only my second post here so I’m fairly new to all the > acronyms. > I will cut right to the chase and let you know that after 16 years I > have filed for divorce and my husband and I are in the middle of > a horrific custody battle. > The reason is quite simple IMO. A few years ago, pre age 35, I never thought I > exhibited any PMS symptoms other than a bloated tummy > Fast forward through the last year or so and my medical records clearly > indicate that I was having Panic attacks every month for 5 months in a row > when I was pre-menstrual. > Diagnosis, Panic Disorder, sent home with Paxil and .25 Xanax as > needed. After these meds kicked in, follow up appt’s indicated insomnia > and a small amount of breakthrough anxiety when pre-menstual. Again, sent home > with Ambien to assist in sleeping. > "I am _ONLY_ 37", she says to herself! > I _CAN’T_ be hitting menopause. > Research, Research, Research….. > Hmmmm.. Peri-menopause? What’s that? > I purchased the entire DSM-IV manual (panic disorder is deemed a > mental health issue) along with a book on Peri-menopause. > While reading the full criteria for panic disorder ( vs panic attacks), I > found it odd that I never really exhibited other signs i.e. social phobia, > agoraphobia, etc. > While I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to get my _mental health_ diagosis of > Panic Disorder changed, I do know that my husband and his lawyer are > using the grounds of "mental health disorder" in an attempt to show that > I *am* mentally unstable. My doctor knows I am fine in the respect. > I would like to appeal to any others who know exactly what I am talking > about if for no other reason than to know I am not the one who is going > through this and has possibly been prescribed similiar medications. > TIA, > Kathi in Buffalo > GO SABRES > to reply remove letters after .com
Response:
>Hi, this must be an awful time for you. I have also been through a divorce. It
was the medical evidence on my records that also helped me to win. If your doctor knows you are fine then you are 100% there. Keep cool, calm and collected at all times even though you may be seething inside and want to explode your anger out, let him be the one to look unstable in court.> hi Denise, Thank you for the kind words. I did in fact receive papers today on 90! accusations to which I am now replying to one by one. The entire basis seems to revolve around "Panic disorder" although my medical records clearly indicate that everytime I experienced an attack or anxiety and insomnia etc., that I was premenstrual. It’s unfortunate that there really is _no way_ to receive a clinical diagnosis of peri vs. panic disorder. Now I think my body is playing tricks on me as my last period was 6 days late, heavy for a full 8 days, stopped for a week, started spotting again and now what appears to be another full blown menstrual peirod only a weel after the last one ended. Is this part of peri or there there something wrong? Maybe it’s just stress, I don’t know! Thanks again for any advice Kath
Response:
ChattyKathi wrote:
[snip commentary about ugly divorce action] >Now I think my body is playing tricks on me as my >last period was 6 days late, heavy for a full 8 days, stopped for a week, >started spotting again and now what appears to be another full blown >menstrual >peirod only a weel after the last one ended. Is this part of peri or there >there something wrong? Maybe it’s just stress, I don’t know!
If my own experiences are any indication, stress and weird bleeding occasionally go hand in hand in perimenopause. It’s messy, inconvenient, annoying as hell — with everything else going on, how are you expected to remember to buy and carry all those sanitary supplies? — and you’ll probably want to get it checked out to set your mind at ease. But the chances are very very good that it’s just that, a messy nuisance. Regards, Laura lblanch…@aol.com
Response:
ChattyKathi <frombuf…@aol.commishsux> wrote in message
<trimmed> >Now I think my body is playing tricks on me as my last period was 6 days
late, heavy for a full 8 days, stopped for a week, started spotting again and now what appears to be another full blown menstrual peirod only a weel after the last one ended. Is this part of peri or there there something wrong? Maybe it’s just stress, I don’t know! I have found stress impacts both the frequency and weight of my periods. For me, more stress = more blood, more often. <sigh> This may be worse in peri (it seems to be with me), but it has been that way, to a lesser extent, throughout my adult life. Some people seem to be able to manage stress better than I do, but it has always been destructive to me – negatively impacting my health in all sorts of different ways even after the causative events were over. I realise that you have a hell of a lot going on at the moment but, if you can, please try to take a little time for yourself and work on easing your stress levels. If you can manage to pull yourself away from the pain and the stress for a little while each day then, IMO, your health and strength and focus will benefit both short and long term. Maybe you already have relaxation techniques and I’m preaching to the converted <g> I hope so. But if you haven’t already, please try to find something that suits you. I mostly use visualisations and breathing exercises to ease stress – I know others find an aromatic bath, a walk in the park, a massage, or vigorous exercise to be helpful. The key is to detach your mind, however briefly, from the stressful time you are having – even as little as 20 minutes a day would be good. I hope that you are able to do this for yourself. With best wishes silver
Response:
I wrote, Silver replied, and I wrote again <G>: >>Now I think my body is playing tricks on me as my last period was 6 days
late, heavy for a full 8 days, stopped for a week, started spotting again and now what appears to be another full blown menstrual period only a week after the last one ended. Is this part of peri or there there something wrong? Maybe it’s just stress, I don’t know! (Going thru a hell of a divorce and custody battle)>> >I have found stress impacts both the frequency and weight of my periods. For
me, more stress = more blood, more often. <sigh> This may be worse in peri (it seems to be with me), but it has been that way, to a lesser extent, throughout my adult life. >Some people seem to be able to manage stress better than I do, but it has
always been destructive to me – negatively impacting my health in all sorts of different ways even after the causative events were over. I realise that you have a hell of a lot going on at the moment but, if you can, please try to take a little time for yourself and work on easing your stress levels. If you can manage to pull yourself away from the pain and the stress for a little while each day then, IMO, your health and strength and focus will benefit both short and long term. >Maybe you already have relaxation techniques and I’m preaching to the
converted <g> I hope so. But if you haven’t already, please try to find something that suits you. I mostly use visualisations and breathing exercises to ease stress – I know others find an aromatic bath, a walk in the park, a massage, or vigorous exercise to be helpful. The key is to detach your mind, however briefly, from the stressful time you are having – even as little as 20 minutes a day would be good. I hope that you are able to do this for yourself. With best wishes >silver<
Thank you Silver! You have given wonderful advice and I can attest to the fact that proper breathing and relaxation are in fact VERY helpful. I have been _preaching_ that proper breathing can in fact reduce stress (IMO) and it need only be done for a short period (no pun intended!) of time. I would like to thank you for your support as well. Divorce and custody battles aren’t pretty events to begin with. I do know that I am pedisposed to panic attacks through heredity however, they are now completley under control (20mg’s Paxil and .25 Xanax as needed). It’s the nagging gut feeling that there is _no way_ to medically prove (in my case) I believe that peri has played a major role. The insomnia is there, weird periods, etc. Good Grief, can anyone even imagine what it is like for their "spouse" to actually use this in his defense case against you in a custody battle?! It’s not like I have a broken leg and a doctor can show an x-ray and say; "SEE!, IT’S BROKEN!" Hugs to all. Kathi – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
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