Question:
also: there are so many posts to read.. I dont know where to start.. Stefan
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
Response:
Then I got retrenched from my job and my Medical Aid has a limit for the ammount of money I can spend on therapy, so I owe my therapist for 2 sessions still.
Stefan, you might be able to find a CBT group in your area that’s not as expensive as individual, one-to-one therapy. Could you get your doctor to refer you to one, maybe? CBT can be and usually is a lot more effective than one-to-one ‘exploratory’ therapy when dealing with acute anxiety, though exploratory therapy might be useful later on, when things are a bit less ‘episodic’. I would really encourage you to look into the possibility of having some CBT. I am a good bassist though, and I am sure these lessons are gonna help my playing and stimulate me at the same time. I’m taking lessons from a guy that’s been playing for 9 years, with 2 years formal instruction in Jazz.
That’s great. Do you subscribe to the ‘Just Jazz’ e-list? There are experienced musicians on there (from the US, Europe and elsewhere) who are ready to talk about points of technique and theory – I’ve learned a lot from them. You can find the list at http://www.justjazz.com -David-
Response:
I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all…
Hi Stefan, Welcome to ASAP. I’m in London, England, and play violin – classical, folk and jazz. At present I’m part of a small combo that rehearses weekly. We try out different kinds of music, mainly Scottish folk, and jazz standards with violin, flute/alto sax, acoustic guitar, bass and percussion, but so far we don’t play much in public, only sometimes at the local pub… We’re aiming to step out in public with some gigs before too long, though. I don’t have problems with public performance either, not many "nerves" – but have had real problems with the kind of anxiety you mention in your post. If the attacks are frequent, I suggest you approach your doctor (who prescribed the Xanor for you?) and ask if he/she can refer you to a cognitive behavioral therapist. CBT is really one of the best ways of getting to grips with anxiety/panic and its symptoms, though it’s an ongoing process which you might need to continue on your own for some time after the therapy ends. -David-
Response:
Hi Stefan Nice to hear from you – welcome to ASAP! I’ve had panic attacks since I was 6 years old – I’m 28 now – and I’ve had them on and off. Sorry to hear about your home situation – I’m not surprised you’ve had a few panic attacks – you’ve been through a lot. I get m panic in certain situations – especially when i’m in close proximity to certain people (can’t take people in my car etc) – sounds like the opposite to yours! Like you, though – I have no problems getting up on stage, doing presentations etc – weird, isn’t it? I take an anti-depressant called Seroxat, which helps me a lot. And I also see a therapist to work on the situations I avoid – that is quite helpful. Tell us some more about your band – I play the clarinet, but only for fun at home – i’m not in a band or anything. What kind of stuff do you play? Cleo 
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
Response:
Thanks for the warm welcomes all I really appreciate it. Ok yeh, so XanorSR is also known as Xanax. I have used Zoloft as well, but I didnt see that helping a lot. Let’s see… I have been for therapy.. the first therapist I went to, didnt help me jack shit. The second one didnt help either. I then went to see like a clinical psychiatrist.. and we went into it all and I started getting to know myself better and things were looking up. Then I got retrenched from my job and my Medical Aid has a limit for the ammount of money I can spend on therapy, so I owe my therapist for 2 sessions still. I am freelancing at the moment (web developer), and things are kinda starting to pick up. I have also sent my CV all over the place and there are 2 prospects that are looking good. When I have a stable income again, I’ll go back into therapy, cuz it was helping me a lot. I had a bit of an episode last night, that’s why I decided to go and look for a support group. I was at my buddy’s house watching Unbreakable.. for some reason when I start thinking a lot (the whole "coming of age" process) I get panicky and I start getting confused. Sometimes I can’t look at my face in the mirror and I have trouble when I shower. I dont like taking baths, otherwise I would try that. I think it’s the loneliness that triggers a lot of my attacks. Btw, smoking Lucky Strike seems to help 
As for my music: I play bass. I have been playing for 5 years now. 2 years of 4 string bass and 3 years of 5 string bass. I started taking lessons about 3 weeks ago (Jazz Bass). Reason for this: I dont know any music theory. I am completely self taught. I can read tab and all that, but I dont know how to read sheet music. Most of the time I’m not sure what I’m playing . I am a good bassist though, and I am sure these lessons are gonna help my playing and stimulate me at the same time. I’m taking lessons from a guy that’s been playing for 9 years, with 2 years formal instruction in Jazz. He’s a full time muso and he plays for a cover band and a jazz band. And he’s 24 so it’s cool.. not much of a age difference, so there is no communication gap My style of playing: I play in a hardcore alternative modern rock band. You can say we’re in the same genre as Incubus, Tool, Deftones, etc. We’re called benChmark. My previous band did quite well.. we played a lot of clubs, did TV interviews, radio interviews and played Oppikoppi (the biggest SA music festival) in ‘99. That was so far the pinnacle of my life. We played on the mainstage, live on TV at 16:40 on the kick off day of the festival in front of a crowd of 10 000 plus. I still have it on tape somewhere (courtesy ‘o Mom ) My influences: there are so many. I ‘d have to say Sam Rivers of Limp Bizkit is my biggest. However, I listen to a lot of funky house and funk and jazz and that kinda music to widen my spectrum of playing. That kinda music has some really funky grooving basslines in. St Germain is one of my fave acts at the moment (of course Dave Matthews Band is also there). I don’t know what else to say.. ermm just ask? Stefan
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
Response:
ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
Response:
Hi Stefan, Another musician! Cool! I taught music for 20 years, am now 51 and live with my husband Ralph in Maine, have 3 dogs, 3 cats. My son, who is 30, lives in NYC. My anxiety first got out of control when I was around 40 and had several health issues to deal with. I have had anxiety off and on these last 11 years. This summer I really got sick, and my anxiety sky rocketed. I had taken Xanax here and there though these years, but now am on Zoloft, Concerta, and a rare Ativan every now and then. I am doing pretty well right now, but anxiety does creep in every now and then. This group helps me get through it. Welcome to ASAP! It is interesting that your anxiety began around the time your dad died. Have you talked to anyone about your feelings? Sending you strength…and sympathy for the loss of your dad and your brother. How is your mom doing? Take care, Liz – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
– Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. –Henry Kaiser
Response:
Hi Stefan and welcome to ASAP….My panic attacks also started at 16 and I don’t want to scare you by telling you how long I’ve had them, cause I’m much older than you. However, I am in a very good place now due to taking an Anti-depressant and Xanax….BTW, when anyone in the group asks you about "Xanor", I am assuming you are talking about XanorSR, which is unfortunately not available here in the US or most of Europe. Africa is the only place where I know it’s available. So if they ask what is Xanor, all you have to say it’s another name for Xanax and they will know what med you are talking about. PD sure does suck but I agree your living situation is probably triggering them off. What type of music do you play and what instrument? Do you also sing? We are all so different….you can get up on a stage and feel anxious free but to someone else that would do them in big time. Glad to meet you. Post as often as you want. I’m sure you will hear from a lot more in the group. ~Rita~
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – oh and I use Xanor 0.5 mg for my attacks ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
Response:
Sorry about that Stef. I sent the other post before reading this. I never heard of Xanor.
Xanor = Xanax – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – oh and I use Xanor 0.5 mg for my attacks ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
Response:
Sorry about that Stef. I sent the other post before reading this. I never heard of Xanor. Do you feel it works for you? You may want to see a therapist. I did and he really helped me. I also saw a psychiatrist on and off for awhile and he also helped, but I think in some ways the therapist was better. I learned a little Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) from the therapist which helps if I can remember to do it. :-) CBT does work for a lot of people. I know someone here will be able to explain it better than I can. Di
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – oh and I use Xanor 0.5 mg for my attacks ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
Response:
Hi Stef! Welcome to ASAP. I’m sorry about your Dad and brother. That was a terrible loss for you and it doesn’t surprise me that you have panic attacks. I give you so much credit for getting up on the stage because I could never do that. I’ve had your symptoms during a PA and it does suck. Well, you’ve certainly come to the right place for support. Are you on any meds? I was taking an antidepressant for about 5 years and have recently stopped, but it did help me. I still use Ativan at night and then during the day if needed. It has helped me so much through anxiety and PAs. Please take care! Di
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
Response:
oh and I use Xanor 0.5 mg for my attacks
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ok, so here we go my name’s Stefan, (people call me Stef sometimes), I’m 21 and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have a panic disorder and it sucks. I had my first one when I was 16 and they come and go and come and go. Strange thing is they mainly happen to me at night.. when a friend or someone crashed at my house I’m usually fine. Umm.. I live with my mom (my dad passed away when I was 16, and my brother when I was 13) and sometimes me and her fight and that also triggers attacks sometimes. She has had a stroke and a deep venerial something or the other….. I think all of the above mentioned might have worked on my nerves a bit. I play bass for a band.. I started up a new band in feb this year after leaving my old band that I played with for 2 years in may last year. I have no problem with getting up on stage at all. I love it.. I look forward to gigs so much.. and I’m never panicky…. when I get an attack, I go all weird like.. pins and needles.. and confusion.. who I am.. where I am…. and I then I think I’m gonna go crazy the usual symptons and all… that’s about it.. anything else you’d like to know? and if you guys wanna, will you tell me more about yourselves? Stefan
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