Question:
My ex was less than supportive. I have phagophobia, fear of swallowing, and though a portion of that is gone, I wan’t able to go to bars or clubs and drink, and actually had difficulty at home until a few months ago. Anyway, a portion of the reason we are no longer together, the final insult was in response to my trying to explain my disorder for the umpteenth time in then 11 months, " that really f**ks with me!" In a very nasty tone of voice. Like it was my concious doing. This person who is taking all but $25.00 a month from you sounds like a scoundral unless there are economic realities I didn’t catch. I hope you can free yourself from him. David
Response:
Oh, another point……never be ashamed of this condition. Non of us asked for our brain chemistry to get out of whack.
Response:
I wish I had all the answers for you, but one thing that someone brought up gave me a very interesting thought on how to work my way back into my life. Once I worked for a temp agency, some assignments were short (like a day) some two weeks, some different times. Thing about it was I stayed with the SAME company even if I had to tell them I would need a month off. You just let them know when you are ready to go back. That would give me a sense of control over things when I get ready to go back, and maybe that could work for you. Explain to them that you have these issues, that when you take an assignment you will be sure it isn’t overstepping, and that if you need time, you will tell them. That way they don’t feel like you would be someone who didn’t give them a good rep with companies, but also would know to search for short assignments and not expect too much. I made a living doing that for quite a while. And I think it is an excellent idea for anyone willing to work, but not quite able to commit to something permanent or full time yet. Not to mention, you could go through 50 different ‘jobs’ if you needed to, but still have one employer. It also makes it interesting because in most cases you aren’t there long enough to have any enemies, and you learn a TON from different places. As for the family members, they don’t know…and if one has panic disorder and can still function in the world, bully for them….but just because you can’t right away doesn’t mean you are any less of a person. Killing yourself slowly by mentally kicking your ass every day trying to live up to others is just silly. Standing on principles only makes my feet tired. I refuse to put up with someone elses judgement. Sometimes it may hurt, but I don’t ever HAVE to let it. There is a great site for your boyfriend to check out to do with panic disorder. It is the best I have found so far to help me explain and give the most information in one spot to people: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2606/index.html Hope some of this made sense….and I hope you find a way to get out from under the ex’s thumb…soon. Robin – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hello everyone, I haven’t posted in an awful long time – but i have been off and on here for 3 – 4 years. Maybe some of you remember me? Anyway, I am having an very hard time with my panic disorder interfering with employment. I was agoraphobic ( didn’t leave my home ) for about 2 years and I have much improved since then thanks to paxil and therapy. However, I am very depressed still and I have attempted working only to fail over and over again. I have held 8 jobs since August.. It’s disgusting, and it makes me feel ashamed that I can not function in society. I am on SSDI, but I have only 5 more month of trail wok time before I can no longer receive my full benefits, so I am afraid to work. Argrghrgh…. It’s a vicious cirlce. I am ashamed when people I haven’t seen in a long time ask me what I do for work. I feel embarrassed when my boyfriend is asked what I do for a living, and doesn’t know what to say. Even his mother badgers me about where I am working sometimes. She know I have panic disorder, but so does her husband and he works everyday. Grrrrrr… His parents have a strong work ethic, and do not accept soeone not working for a living. My mother on the other hand is discourging on a completly different level. She tells me " You are unemployable and most likely you will be that way for te rest of your life, just accept that".. UGH! Accept that? I dont think so! My panic attacks are pretty much controled even while working, but I am tired all the time – have major depressions months at a time. It’s so frusterating. One of the hardest things i am dealing with right now is this. I receive 500.00 a month to live on. Back last June ( nine moths ago ) my ex-boyfriend whom I lived with and I broke up. I still live here with him. AHHHHHH!!! And that is because I can not work and get out of here. So now I pay him 475.00 a month. I am trapped and i think he likes that. I have a current boyfriend ( who I mentioned earlier ) who loves me to pieces, but is leary of us living togther because of my work record. I can understand his concern. Does anyone else have spouses or loved ones who pressure them or have trouble understanding panic disorder and depression??? I want more than naything in the whole world, to work and become indepentant once again. To pull my own weight and "LIVE".. Does anyone have any stories of success they can share with me? I could use the inspiration.. Thank you kindly for letting me rant. Bright Blessings, Rhiannon All I ever wanted ~ Was to know that you were dreaming….. S. Nicks
"It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." ~~Sally Kempton Robin
Response:
Hi Rhiannon You are certainly not alone in getting caught in the circle of anxiety and depression. So sorry things are tough right now. Please do not dwell on feeling shame about your work record. You have a reason why this has happened, and it is a very understandable reason. Do not beat yourself up about it. You are doing the very best that you can and that is all anyone can do. Do you have a therapist to discuss all this with? Take good care of yourself! Liz – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello everyone, I haven’t posted in an awful long time – but i have been off and on here for 3 – 4 years. Maybe some of you remember me? Anyway, I am having an very hard time with my panic disorder interfering with employment. I was agoraphobic ( didn’t leave my home ) for about 2 years and I have much improved since then thanks to paxil and therapy. However, I am very depressed still and I have attempted working only to fail over and over again. I have held 8 jobs since August.. It’s disgusting, and it makes me feel ashamed that I can not function in society. I am on SSDI, but I have only 5 more month of trail wok time before I can no longer receive my full benefits, so I am afraid to work. Argrghrgh…. It’s a vicious cirlce. I am ashamed when people I haven’t seen in a long time ask me what I do for work. I feel embarrassed when my boyfriend is asked what I do for a living, and doesn’t know what to say. Even his mother badgers me about where I am working sometimes. She know I have panic disorder, but so does her husband and he works everyday. Grrrrrr… His parents have a strong work ethic, and do not accept soeone not working for a living. My mother on the other hand is discourging on a completly different level. She tells me " You are unemployable and most likely you will be that way for te rest of your life, just accept that".. UGH! Accept that? I dont think so! My panic attacks are pretty much controled even while working, but I am tired all the time – have major depressions months at a time. It’s so frusterating. One of the hardest things i am dealing with right now is this. I receive 500.00 a month to live on. Back last June ( nine moths ago ) my ex-boyfriend whom I lived with and I broke up. I still live here with him. AHHHHHH!!! And that is because I can not work and get out of here. So now I pay him 475.00 a month. I am trapped and i think he likes that. I have a current boyfriend ( who I mentioned earlier ) who loves me to pieces, but is leary of us living togther because of my work record. I can understand his concern. Does anyone else have spouses or loved ones who pressure them or have trouble understanding panic disorder and depression??? I want more than naything in the whole world, to work and become indepentant once again. To pull my own weight and "LIVE".. Does anyone have any stories of success they can share with me? I could use the inspiration.. Thank you kindly for letting me rant. Bright Blessings, Rhiannon All I ever wanted ~ Was to know that you were dreaming….. S. Nicks
– There is always music amongst the trees in the garden but our minds must be very still to hear it.
Response:
Hello everyone, I haven’t posted in an awful long time – but i have been off and on here for 3 – 4 years. Maybe some of you remember me? Anyway, I am having an very hard time with my panic disorder interfering with employment. I was agoraphobic ( didn’t leave my home ) for about 2 years and I have much improved since then thanks to paxil and therapy. However, I am very depressed still and I have attempted working only to fail over and over again. I have held 8 jobs since August.. It’s disgusting, and it makes me feel ashamed that I can not function in society. I am on SSDI, but I have only 5 more month of trail wok time before I can no longer receive my full benefits, so I am afraid to work. Argrghrgh…. It’s a vicious cirlce. I am ashamed when people I haven’t seen in a long time ask me what I do for work. I feel embarrassed when my boyfriend is asked what I do for a living, and doesn’t know what to say. Even his mother badgers me about where I am working sometimes. She know I have panic disorder, but so does her husband and he works everyday. Grrrrrr… His parents have a strong work ethic, and do not accept soeone not working for a living. My mother on the other hand is discourging on a completly different level. She tells me " You are unemployable and most likely you will be that way for te rest of your life, just accept that".. UGH! Accept that? I dont think so! My panic attacks are pretty much controled even while working, but I am tired all the time – have major depressions months at a time. It’s so frusterating. One of the hardest things i am dealing with right now is this. I receive 500.00 a month to live on. Back last June ( nine moths ago ) my ex-boyfriend whom I lived with and I broke up. I still live here with him. AHHHHHH!!! And that is because I can not work and get out of here. So now I pay him 475.00 a month. I am trapped and i think he likes that. I have a current boyfriend ( who I mentioned earlier ) who loves me to pieces, but is leary of us living togther because of my work record. I can understand his concern. Does anyone else have spouses or loved ones who pressure them or have trouble understanding panic disorder and depression??? I want more than naything in the whole world, to work and become indepentant once again. To pull my own weight and "LIVE".. Does anyone have any stories of success they can share with me? I could use the inspiration.. Thank you kindly for letting me rant. Bright Blessings, Rhiannon All I ever wanted ~ Was to know that you were dreaming….. S. Nicks
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