Question:
You mean what I said that is going on with me really is despair? I assumed that it is that way for many other people my age too. I thought it was bad but hoped it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it to be.
No, that’s not what I mean. I should have said "depression" rather than "despair". It really sounds like depression to me. That’s the way everything looks when you are depressed. In reality, I *don’t* think it’s really that bad. Is it all really true, but does it just seem so now? So many of us have been there, and later found out it wasn’t so. What do you mean?
I’ve been severely depressed before, and I know what it feels like, but it really *wasn’t* as bad as I thought! That’s what I mean. Dennis — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I’m sorry to hear such despair, Suzanne.
You mean what I said that is going on with me really is despair? I assumed that it is that way for many other people my age too. I thought it was bad but hoped it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it to be. Is it all really true, but does it just seem so now? So many of us have been there, and later found out it wasn’t so.
What do you mean? Thanks, Suzanne Dennis
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi Suzanne, I can understand why you have a gloomy view of the future. My career was shortened because of anxiety and PD. I’m not sure what I’m going to do next at 38. I was very lucky to have stayed with the Federal Gov’t long enough to be able to collect a disability retirement for now, although they will check on me to see if I’m able to return to work. You’re only 35 : ) That’s very young in a relative sense : ) Try not to think so much about the future. Enjoy each day now as there are no guarantees to what the future holds for you. There are many people living paycheck to paycheck so you are not alone in your situation. Have you considered changing careers to make more income ? Health care is booming and will for the rest of your life. I don’t know if you can save money. If you can put away some money for retirement, check into a regular or Roth IRA. www.fool.com is a good place to learn about saving for retirement. Owning a home may not be all it’s cut out to be. Home prices may crash in the future just as the stock market crashes from time to time. The one positive of owning a home is that it will eventually be paid off and the annual cost will be property taxes and maintenance, along with electric, gas, water/sewer, etc. You may be eligible for Social Security at some point in your life due to disability. In your 60’s, you will be eligible for Social Security and Medicare. I don’t have any relatives that ever needed to live in a nursing home. I don’t have any long term care insurance so I can’t afford a nursing home. I’d rather just die at home than be kept alive at a nursing home in an idle state. Enjoy your life while you’re still alive and young. Take care, Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi Suzanne, I can understand why you have a gloomy view of the future.
It’s just the way it is. My career was shortened because of anxiety and PD. I’m not sure what I’m going to do next at 38. I was very lucky to have stayed with the Federal Gov’t long enough to be able to collect a disability retirement for now, although they will check on me to see if I’m able to return to work. You’re only 35 : ) That’s very young in a relative sense : )
Yeah, I agree. Try not to think so much about the future. Enjoy each day now as there are no guarantees to what the future holds for you.
That’s what I ususally do. I don’t dwell on the expected future that I described. Whatever happens is going to happen so no point thinking about it all the time. I just brought it up in response to the orginal poster’s post to illustrate that even people under 50 have their worries. That’s all. There are many people living paycheck to paycheck so you are not alone in your situation.
I know. Have you considered changing careers to make more income ?
My personal experience for myself is that if income plays a significant role in my career choices, it rarely works out. I have to do what I like to do – even if I’m going to be poor. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Health care is booming and will for the rest of your life. I don’t know if you can save money. If you can put away some money for retirement, check into a regular or Roth IRA. www.fool.com is a good place to learn about saving for retirement. Owning a home may not be all it’s cut out to be. Home prices may crash in the future just as the stock market crashes from time to time. The one positive of owning a home is that it will eventually be paid off and the annual cost will be property taxes and maintenance, along with electric, gas, water/sewer, etc. You may be eligible for Social Security at some point in your life due to disability. In your 60’s, you will be eligible for Social Security and Medicare. I don’t have any relatives that ever needed to live in a nursing home. I don’t have any long term care insurance so I can’t afford a nursing home. I’d rather just die at home than be kept alive at a nursing home in an idle state.
Me too!!! See I have nothing to worry about then :—-D Enjoy your life while you’re still alive and young.
I try. Thanks. Take care, Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
If I had gotten some help 20 or even 30 years ago, maybe I would not be suffering so. The what "ifs" aren’t worth worring with, as I have so many more things that take over the worry part of the old brain.
Hi, Dan…. I’m not so sure that getting help years ago would have made the difference. Of course, you will never know the answer to that, but I sought help as a teenager. Waaaaaaay back then, doctors didn’t seem to even be that aware of panic disorder. I’m not sure when the real diagnosis of PD was established…..perhaps one of our medical people could tell us. Back then, I was just having a nervous breakdown… 
They gave me pills to calm me down… and I struggled through. Years later, I found that I wasn’t so strange, after all… that there were others out there just like me… and that did me more good than anything else, I think. I’ve always felt like an outsider because of my anxiety… and I know that’s not true anymore. I don’t like to ask for help with anything, which is part of the problem I think.
Well, I’m glad you shared with us! I understand what you are saying. I think that’s one way I’ve changed over the years. I’ve become much more open to talking to people about the PD and there are times when I have asked for help to deal with certain situations. But it’s not always easy. I have to try and drive to see my mom tomorrow in another state. That in itself seems like a MAJOR hill to climb. I could go on and on here–but to no purpose. I wish you all well and may God bless.
Driving can be a MAJOR trigger for many of us with PD, Dan. I’m sure I’m not telling you anything new, there! I try to take things with me to help along the way. I take CDs to listen to, a book to read, a catalog of some type to browse, I take a Gameboy so that I have an electronic game to play… I take some candies and things to munch on… and I sometimes take a list of quotes that are inspirational to me.. something I can glance over if I’m feeling anxious. So if I need to pull over and stop and get out and walk around or relax, I have something to help me calm down a bit. I wish you well with your travel tomorrow! I’m sure you will make it.. and you will probably do much better than you expect! In any case, I wish you a blessed Thanksgiving!! Take care! MikeH 
— The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Mike, "Back then, I was just having a nervous breakdown…" – Goodness I have always hated that term. So glad pdocs don’t use that terminology now days… smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – If I had gotten some help 20 or even 30 years ago, maybe I would not be suffering so. The what "ifs" aren’t worth worring with, as I have so many more things that take over the worry part of the old brain. Hi, Dan…. I’m not so sure that getting help years ago would have made the difference. Of course, you will never know the answer to that, but I sought help as a teenager. Waaaaaaay back then, doctors didn’t seem to even be that aware of panic disorder. I’m not sure when the real diagnosis of PD was established…..perhaps one of our medical people could tell us. Back then, I was just having a nervous breakdown… They gave me pills to calm me down… and I struggled through. Years later, I found that I wasn’t so strange, after all… that there were others out there just like me… and that did me more good than anything else, I think. I’ve always felt like an outsider because of my anxiety… and I know that’s not true anymore. I don’t like to ask for help with anything, which is part of the problem I think. Well, I’m glad you shared with us! I understand what you are saying. I think that’s one way I’ve changed over the years. I’ve become much more open to talking to people about the PD and there are times when I have asked for help to deal with certain situations. But it’s not always easy. I have to try and drive to see my mom tomorrow in another state. That in itself seems like a MAJOR hill to climb. I could go on and on here–but to no purpose. I wish you all well and may God bless. Driving can be a MAJOR trigger for many of us with PD, Dan. I’m sure I’m not telling you anything new, there! I try to take things with me to help along the way. I take CDs to listen to, a book to read, a catalog of some type to browse, I take a Gameboy so that I have an electronic game to play… I take some candies and things to munch on… and I sometimes take a list of quotes that are inspirational to me.. something I can glance over if I’m feeling anxious. So if I need to pull over and stop and get out and walk around or relax, I have something to help me calm down a bit. I wish you well with your travel tomorrow! I’m sure you will make it.. and you will probably do much better than you expect! In any case, I wish you a blessed Thanksgiving!! Take care! MikeH — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I don’t like to ask for help with anything, which is part of the problem I think.
I know this is very hard for some people. But I’m glad you asked us… at least to share our feelings with you. I have to try and drive to see my mom tomorrow in another state. That in itself seems like a MAJOR hill to climb.
For anxious people, driving longer distances *can* be a major "hill to climb." This is "normal" — for US. Please be gentle with yourself. Pull over and do breathing exercises and listen to calming music if the driving overwhelms you. Then when you are calmer, you can go on. I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving visit with your mom. :-) xxoo Anne — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Dan, Hope your drive is anxiety free and you have a nice Thanksgiving… smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? In my case, things seem to have gotten worse. I hope it’s just a temporary thing. (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older? No… I don’t think so. Is everyone depressed at "some" level? I see some people who seem to cope very well with things. The ups and downs of life just don’t seem to faze them as they do me. Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later? I am much more aware of my mortality (I’m 52)…. but I don’t think that is the cause of the anxiety/depression.. MikeH Just a few words of thanks to all that responded. My heart goes out to the poster Suzanne, though younger. If I had gotten some help 20 or even 30 years ago, maybe I would not be suffering so. The what "ifs" aren’t worth worring with, as I have so many more things that take over the worry part of the old brain. I don’t like to ask for help with anything, which is part of the problem I think. I have to try and drive to see my mom tomorrow in another state. That in itself seems like a MAJOR hill to climb. I could go on and on here–but to no purpose. I wish you all well and may God bless. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? In my case, things seem to have gotten worse. I hope it’s just a temporary thing. (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older? No… I don’t think so. Is everyone depressed at "some" level? I see some people who seem to cope very well with things. The ups and downs of life just don’t seem to faze them as they do me. Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later? I am much more aware of my mortality (I’m 52)…. but I don’t think that is the cause of the anxiety/depression.. MikeH
Just a few words of thanks to all that responded. My heart goes out to the poster Suzanne, though younger. If I had gotten some help 20 or even 30 years ago, maybe I would not be suffering so. The what "ifs" aren’t worth worring with, as I have so many more things that take over the worry part of the old brain. I don’t like to ask for help with anything, which is part of the problem I think. I have to try and drive to see my mom tomorrow in another state. That in itself seems like a MAJOR hill to climb. I could go on and on here–but to no purpose. I wish you all well and may God bless. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older? Is everyone depressed at "some" level? Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later? — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Is everyone depressed at "some" level? Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
Well, this is JUST ME… but since my parents’ deaths (both in the past 5 years) I have found myself dwelling on age, mortality, illness etc. much more than in the past. — and I was always a bit obsessive about it anyway. I know there are ways to live that get around these death-obsessive thoughts (unless you are Woody Allen and make a cottage industry out of it). I think staying involved in things that help others and that interest you is probably the best way to keep the death-thoughts at bay. Are you feeling especially depressed about this stuff? It’s understandable but also treatable. xxoo Anne age 52 — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? (Even though the meds may help)
I find for me it’s getting worse as I get older. Has it seemed to become a part of getting older?
Maybe, but for me it also may be menopause bringing on some of the anxiety. Is everyone depressed at "some" level? Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
I didn’t think so at first, but then I watched a movie a week ago about a young woman who was dying of cancer. I cried and thought to myself *I don’t want to die*. Now that’s the first time in a very long time that I was actually afraid of dying. Hugs, Di — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? (Even though the meds may help)
No Has it seemed to become a part of getting older?
No Is everyone depressed at "some" level?
Don’t know. I’m intermittently depressed. Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
I don’t think so. But when I am depressed I think about death, but I believe that is a symptom of my depression. Chip (age 59) — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse?
Only if I am going through a particularly difficult RL situation. Then I hope I get back to my starting point. (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older?
Given that I only developed PD in 1995 my age, hormonal factors may have been part of the onset of anxiety. I no longer worry about Why:) Is everyone depressed at "some" level? I have depression but it responds to ADs. Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
Having just been to the funeral of a woman who died at 53, mortality is an issue but for me but is an inspiration to get on with making the most of the remainder of my life. love Meryl — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
:Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to :get worse? (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a :part of getting older? Is everyone depressed at "some" level? Does it :seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or :later? Dear Dan, I think anxiety and depression is quite common amongst "older" people for a few reasons. Facing ones mortality is a big one but also dealing with increased health problems as we age can be depressing and anxiety-provoking. I don`t think everyone is depressed at some level……I know plenty of "older" people that seem quite content with their lives. Are you feeling more depressed and anxious as you get older? Do you think it`s related to death? Don`t hesitate to talk about your depression with your doctor. {{{{{Dan}}}}} Jackie ~*~My grandfather always said that living is like licking honey off a thorn~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older? Is everyone depressed at "some" level? Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
I felt compelled to read this and respond. I may not be 50, but I believe that a large part of my underlying anxiety has to do with aging, death, and having my life slip out before my eyes. I hoped that when I got to be middle age and older, that I wouldn’t have a care in the world. I thought that getting older and wiser would give me a perspective where nothing would phase me. I am finding that at age 35, I am thinking about some of the things that 50 year olds and older may think about. Only for me, it’s a little different because I’m stuck in the middle so to speak. That is, many of the things that baby boomers have or will have, I will not - such as a spouse, a house, a retirement, pension, etc..(commericals on TV about pensions really annoy me cuz I won’t have one) I am one of those people who never really "got started" I never found a career that I liked enough to stick with and accumulate ample experience in one thing or with one company so that a retirement package would ever be possible. I know that I won’t have kids so if I should be able to afford a nursing home (which I won’t), there will be nobody to come and visit me. There is no spouse in the picture – I cannot connect with anyone so that type of companionship is not there. I am having a hard time trying to find decent medical coverage for a reasonable price (300 a month is not reasonable!) in case something happens to me. Yes, I know that I sound like I’m whining, but it’s pretty much the facts. I just wanted to point out that even some of the 30-year-olds have worries too so don’t feel bad. At 22, all of this stuff was not an issue at all, but now it’s all staring me in the face. The frustrating part is that I cannot for the life of me find ways to get around these things. Suzanne — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? (Even though the meds may help)
No, mine has much improved. Has it seemed to become a part of getting older? Is everyone depressed at "some" level?
We all start to think about our mortality as we grow older, especially if we have any of the chronic diseases of aging. Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
We can face it later. We are not our parents and great discoveries are being made in the science of aging. First of all, through proper diet and exercise, we can prevent the heart attacks, strokes, and cancers that would kill us prematurely. The other thing we can do is to stay VERY slender. Studies with mice have shown that this is the only thing that actually retards aging and prevents or greatly delays Alzheimers, Parkinson’s, stroke, heart disease, kidney problems, cancer, etc. Along with eating a lot less, you should concentrate on mainly fruits, vegetables, and healthy oils, with a little protein. Most people can’t sustain this lifestyle, but we can try. Stay active, do crosswords, and keep learning. Volunteer work is wonderful – it will take your mind off your own problems. Dot — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older?
Is everyone depressed at "some" level? Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
Well, even though I don’t quite qualify on the age grounds (I’m just over 49), I thought I would reply because when I first experienced my panic disorder at the age of around 22 no-one told me what it was, the professionals didn’t seem to know much about it, and the only answer to them was to prescribe Valium, which didn’t do a thing for me. So I was left with this condition which I didn’t understand and which was terrifying. Naturally, I believed something was seriously wrong with me and that I was dying. So for the first few years of my condition I lived in dread of dying and death to the point of obsession. Then I joined an anxiety/panic newsletter group and acquired new knowledge about the condition from fellow sufferers, although the facts known at that time were nowhere near the level of knowledge now. But my condition began to make sense, I didn’t feel a lone sufferer any longer, and I was able to convince myself that it wasn’t fatal. Gradually the fear of dying subsided, and in recent years is nowhere near as acute as in my earlier years. So I think it depends on people’s experiences how they change with age. I have actually improved vastly over the years, mainly as a result of being better informed about my condition. I don’t generally get depressed, although I will say that I’ve noticed that I’m less able to cope with the more intense panic attacks now than when I was younger. What I mean by that is that when I was younger I could always bluff my way through life, ignore the panic, hold down a job and do everything in spite of the panic. Nowadays I tend to limit myself according to how anxious I feel. If I feel too anxious to do something, I won’t do it. I actually think this is a better way to live, as I’ve found that by not putting myself under pressure to achieve things in spite of my panic, I actually suffer fewer panic attacks, and therefore can achieve more anyway. I am also a great believer in being honest with people. I’ve found it a lot easier to tell people who ask me to do something I feel I can’t do that I can’t do it, rather than struggle to please them, then take 2 or 3 days to get over the stress.I also tell them why I can’t do it. It’s surprising how many people do understand, and for those who don’t, so what? They just need educating. I agree with those who have said that filling your time with something that interests you and gives you pleasure, and having a general zest for life, helps with the thoughts of death and dying. People very close to me have died in the past few years, and it has made life even more precious and worth living and enjoying. Not easy though, I know, if you’re feeling depressed. All the best from Steve. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Dan, I think most people have a degree of depression and anxiety. I think as you get older you not only worry about death but also about your safety. Which is why many older people don’t go out after dark (anxiety producing) or like to stay alone at night. When I start to go there I just try my best to put it out of my mind. smiles, Elise
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse? (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older? Is everyone depressed at "some" level? Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later? — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I’m sorry to hear such despair, Suzanne. Is it all really true, but does it just seem so now? So many of us have been there, and later found out it wasn’t so. Dennis — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse?
I’ve had a lot of anxiety since my early childhood. It’s been up and down. I’m very hopeful now (51). (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older?
No. Is everyone depressed at "some" level?
I don’t think so. Sorrow is a part of life, though. Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
Not for me. For me, it’s "where do I go from here?" Recently I went through a long period of suicidal thoughts. At the time I thought, this is just a place I have to visit from time to time. No more, I hope. Dennis — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Have you found that as you age the depression and/or anxiety seems to get worse?
In my case, things seem to have gotten worse. I hope it’s just a temporary thing. (Even though the meds may help) Has it seemed to become a part of getting older?
No… I don’t think so. Is everyone depressed at "some" level?
I see some people who seem to cope very well with things. The ups and downs of life just don’t seem to faze them as they do me. Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later?
I am much more aware of my mortality (I’m 52)…. but I don’t think that is the cause of the anxiety/depression.. MikeH — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Is everyone depressed at "some" level? Does it seem related to death and dying which we are going to face sooner or later? Well, this is JUST ME… but since my parents’ deaths (both in the past 5 years) I have found myself dwelling on age, mortality, illness etc. much more than in the past. — and I was always a bit obsessive about it anyway. I know there are ways to live that get around these death-obsessive thoughts (unless you are Woody Allen and make a cottage industry out of it). I think staying involved in things that help others and that interest you is probably the best way to keep the death-thoughts at bay. Are you feeling especially depressed about this stuff? It’s understandable but also treatable. xxoo Anne age 52
Anne, Thanks for responding and YES I am. It seems whenever someone dies that it gets worse for me. Anyway, I wanted to get it "out". Dan (age 55 in two weeks) — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.